Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Julia: Your Parents Still Care - They Just Don't Understand

Julia, love!

It's been a while since we've talked - years, in fact. I want you to know that I still think about you often. It's not that I've forgotten about you, it's just that looking back on you makes me feel so awkward and awful.

That whole decision about telling your parents you're bisexual? Stop worrying so much. They'll surprise you. You won't be kicked out, you won't be disowned. You won't even really be criticized. Your parents love and support you - even if they don't understand.

Your dad will shake his head and quietly excuse himself from the conversation - which is par for the course. Your dad never wants to discuss your love life. And that's fine. He loves you no matter what.

Your mom will act a little disappointed at first, and then convince herself it's just a phase. You know better. She'll be uncomfortable the first few times you bring your girlfriend around, but she'll come around.

Give her time to get used to the fact that her only daughter is not living the life SHE imagined for you. She saw a future for you that she herself wanted - a good husband, lots of kids, a house in suburbia. But that's just not you, sweetie. And that's okay - you didn't crumble her hopes and dreams for you, you just replaced the groom's tuxedo with a second wedding dress. She'll come around and eventually she'll love your girlfriend as much as you do.

All the other bullshit you go through - the taunts, the jeers, the harassment - they don't matter. Because you are one of the lucky few who has the support of your family. And that's all that really matters.

Hold your head up high,

Love,
Your future self.

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