Significant Other Approves - +10!

By Keelah Monster Cosplay

Valentine’s Day is coming up and whether you are celebrating with your cosplayer in a home you share or meeting them somewhere, or even celebrating at Katsucon as I wish Robert (my boyfriend) and I were (we’re having a belated Valentine’s Day due to his senior year being a large workload this year), you want to get them the perfect gift possible, maybe a nice little figurine or keychain if you’re just starting out, perhaps a collar or cuff that matches one of the their cosplays or fandoms if you’re serious (Or a piece of jewelry if you’re super serious).

But keep in mind, above all most geeks and cosplayers want something cool, fun, and unique that fits their interest, DeBeers and the like will tell you diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but the fact of the matter is that diamonds are cold, hard, impersonal, and come from a bevy of disgusting practices including child slavery and modern colonialism not to mention are severely up charged, misrepresented, and overrated simply because some fat cat company says so at the expense of thousands of African children.

 Social justice indignation aside, you can read more about the massive problems with the diamond industry here at Amnesty International, I’m here to help you pick out a gift for your cosplay SO, so here’s a few suggestions that are a bit more wallet friendly (and most of them are more human rights friendly too!) than diamonds.

8 Bit Flower Bouquet from ThinkGeek - $10

For this post, I’m not going to suggest things specifically, I’m going to suggest places to go and ways to figure out what your SO would like. I don’t know your love interest, so I’m not sure entirely what you should get them, this is using examples from my experience on what to do. For the sake of avoiding hypocrisy and also making sure you find the most unique and amazing gift possible, I’m going to avoid most mainstream stores and tell you flat out that Etsy or making something yourself or commissioning a crafty friend is point blank the best way to go, but if you don’t mind some potential sweatshop labor, Thinkgeek is a tried and true surefire shop for any geek to give gifts, they are a great company, but again, shop at your own risk as far as sweatshop items because they’re more a geek department store than a place that makes their own items, granted not every mass produced item is sweatshop fodder, you may find some that are in a place so big and diverse.

From The Hobbit Collection by Shiro Cosmetics

So, here are some basic ideas for things your cosplayer may like that can be bought from known reputable companies: Does your cosplayer have their makeup pallet yet? It doesn’t matter what gender they are, every cosplayer worth their salt (barring skin allergies of course) usually likes to have a pallet for their character even if it’s just some concealer or bronzer. Well don’t worry, because Shiro Cosmetics has you covered. It’s owned by a lovely person named Caitlin (not to be confused with IFD’s Caitlin, who while wonderful, isn’t the same Caitlin!) and I have personally received assistance from her in selecting pallets for many of my cosplays. Is your SO cosplaying a character with a non-human skin color like gray or purple or green? Well if you email her with the character’s name and a pic in case she isn’t familiar with them, she can help you put together a lovely three color pallet for toning and blending AND she’ll sell you the colors at an increased size so they can be used as foundation. Also, most of her colors can be made into high pigment lip glosses.

Arcane Magic: Dark Fantasy by Fyrinnae Cosmetics

Shiro doesn’t have exactly the color you need or you don’t need that much, just an eye shadow? Or maybe you need some epoxy or some shimmer? Well head on over to Fyrinnae cosmetics. All their products are vegan, long lasting, and I can personally attest to their variety and vibrance. They have wonderful customer service, though they don’t offer the same size customization and personalization that Shiro Cosmetics does. Also, their lip products may look like glosses, but they aren’t! They’re actually long lasting opaque lipsticks; they are simply applied like gloss. Both shops are reasonably priced and a good alternative to the sham of a business that is Lime Crime (As with my above rant, feel free to look up their years of poor business practices, shoddy formulas, and upcharges on basic micas, not to mention borderline racist advertising for their China Doll set).

Makeup not for your SO or they’re very picky about it? Not a problem, consider browsing Etsy or asking a crafty acquaintance to sell you a small prop or accessory piece, you can find almost anything for any fandom there, from ribbons to jewelry to prop weapons to masks and latex pieces, commissioning some small finishing touch can be the most thoughtful gesture imaginable to a cosplayer since so much of our expendable income goes towards costumes.

A Brony's dream

On that note, another thoughtful gift is something completely unrelated to cosplay that your SO could otherwise not afford because of the combination of bills and cosplay costs. I am an avid tea drinker and while not my SO, one of my best friends frequently buys me tea or accessories for making a better cup of tea since she knows I could never afford those things on my own. Be it cute casual clothes, alt fashions they like, snacks or drinks they enjoy, even a bottle of their favorite alcohol, one less extra thing they no longer need to debate setting cosplay money aside for is a gift in and of itself. Hell, I also collect figurines particularly Mass Effect and My Little Pony, my BF got me Soarin’ and Spitfire as well as a few other blind bags last year for my MLP collection, and then this year he got me Garrus and Grunt Funko POP! Figures to go with my Tali and Mordin figures. Books also never go amiss.

The Ferrari Wig by Arda Wigs

Another big cosplay piece you could offer help with is a wig. While there are other places, I recommend Arda Wigs or The Five Wits. Arda has a larger selection that comes in a bigger variety of colors and are better for styling, but Five Wits has many great pre-styled wigs for those who can’t style for themselves or don’t have the time. Their prices are close enough that neither will break your bank and both are subject to multiple sales a year AND Arda now has a punch tab discount program.

Don’t buy wigs on Etsy. Buying a custom styling job is different, but don’t buy pre-styled wigs on Etsy as a rule as many of the MLP wigs that are sold there are actually either two cheap wigs sewn together or one cheap, unstyled wig with ears attached. Buy your ears from Yaya Han or have them commissioned and clip or strap them onto your head or wig, it’s not worth a $60 upcharge for a shoddy pair of ears to be sewn into a $15 wig as some wig sellers on Etsy have been known to do. Arda has many tutorials, Five Wits has many pre-styled wigs that are inexpensive, and Etsy has many talented stylists who you can commission to style a wig that you bought or picked out. Don’t fall for a scam.

Now this last suggestion is likely out of most price ranges, but if it isn’t and your cosplayer doesn’t make their own costumes, having a full costume commissioned for them that they’ve been wanting is a very, very thoughtful and kind gesture. The problem is the inexpensive ones you see online are generally from sweatshops or worse, Milanoo, which buys at random from different sweatshops so not only are you getting poor quality and slave labor work, but also you don’t even know just how poor the quality.

 The reason this will break your bank is that you HAVE TO go to a reputable commissioner and the average seamstress wage (at least in most cities I’ve looked into) is $25 an hour, costume work can take days, in my first article you may recall I broke down how long Tali and Jaina each took me? And the thing is, those weren’t even the final drafts. Think long and hard about this one unless you bring in a six figure income yearly, but it IS a nice, thoughtful gesture.

Mana and Health Necklace Set - $24 by ZooZim on Etsy

Apart from the aspects of finances and picking between many wonderful options, the act of buying a gift for your cosplayer should be a snap if you know them well enough. And if you’ve only just started dating? Play it safe and get them something small and simple.

Price and size shouldn’t matter for a gift, these are only loose suggestions based on what a cosplay requires to be completed, in the end all that matters is that you thought of your loved one on Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air, so grab your love interest of choice and hit Silver sun Strip for some DLC style dating!...But don’t go for sushi...Trust me…You Mass Effect fans know what I’m saying.

Keelah Monster (formerly Tali'Belle) is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

Starter Quests Are the Worst! (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Newbies)

By Keelah Monster Cosplay (Formerly Tali'Belle)

No matter what your goal in the cosplay community or any alt scene for that matter, it pays to be nice. Better to be a Margaery than a Cersei, after all if you intend to be queen. When people like you, they are more likely to do things for you and more likely to genuinely want to see you succeed. To better explain my comparison to non-George R.R. Martin fans, when Cersei Lannister was queen of king’s landing, she acted like it put her far above everyone else and flaunted her wealth and influence and all her family could do to punish people who crossed her, Margaery Tyrell played the game better, though, she walked among the people, helped them and took personal interest in them. Guess who that worked out better for? (At least so far, no one’s lifespan is guaranteed in those books.)

Margaery Tyrell from Game of Thrones

But anyway let’s begin with the cosplay community. There are people who are just starting out and they all go about the anxiety that comes with taking to such a new, involved, highly critical cosplay in very different ways. Some put up a front with bravado and pretend they know more than they do, some are quiet and frightened to ask for advice and then become defensive when someone might be better or offer advice, and then there’s the dreaded weeaboo. Loud, excitable, overly obsessive, unable to interact properly or politely, taking most of their public mannerisms from GIR of Invader Zim fame or Foamy the Squirrel with disastrous results for the image of their fandom and the cosplay community as a whole. These people, like their gothic equivalent, Baby Bats, like to believe that they and they alone are unique in a world full of Barbie clones and posers, they often spawn internal misogyny or nice guy syndrome where they believe that other members of their gender are vapid, cruel, and mean as I mentioned before in my ‘fake geek girl’ post. Above all, this kind of person is very annoying.

However stop and think for a second. Everyone’s been in a situation where they felt different and ostracized. In those scenarios isn’t it a kneejerk reaction to believe that you are Wednesday Addams in a world of Amanda Buckmans? Of course it is, and isn’t it fun to see Wednesday screw up that trite, uncomfortably racist first Thanksgiving play by setting things on fire? Of course it was, and that’s fine, movies where someone like you is the protagonist and makes the
vapid jerks pay are cathartic, but in real life it is never so black and white. Even Kim Kardashian and Megan Fox have feelings and dreams and things that make them human no matter how awful they may seem as human beings. Not every slender blonde with a Prada bag and Abercrombie and Fitch outfit is an evil bimbo who hates you. But can a kid who’s grown up with nothing but movie interpretations of interactions with ‘normies’ possibly fathom that?

Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones

Consider, many people who latch onto fringe cultures already have trouble fitting in, they can feel ostracized, some may have social anxiety or be awkward around others. As a young teen or preteen who already has these feelings, also finding a love for alt culture is one more thing they can feel prevents them from fitting in, throw in that at that age everyone is immature and bullying is a very real problem, and it can become very easy for them to conclude those movies were true. Someone is going to dump pig’s blood on them at the prom or lock them in the Harmony Hut or even physically hurt them in their mind and so an all too common defense mechanism is to lash out first or write off everyone as a vapid poser Barbie wannabe clone. Believe me, I know. That’s why it’s so hard to write my Lipstick Love Letter piece.

When I was twelve, I went to regular public school. I grew up on a heavy dose of sci-fi, horror, teen comedies, and geek culture. In elementary school that’s really okay, few people are going to bully you because everyone plays Pokemon in elementary school, everyone collects action figures, everyone watches cartoons, things are pretty well universal when you’re a child no matter what the glittery pink aisle that boldly insisted ‘GIRLS’ at the toy store wanted you to believe, as far as we were concerned in elementary school, Esmeralda could be rescued from Frollo by the timely intervention of the Autobots and no one would bat an eyelash, Princess Aurora was secretly the pink Power Ranger and sleep fought Rita Repulsa...and/or Maleficent, same headpiece style and all. But I digress. The point is, suddenly as you grow up, everyone’s interests shift…or stay relatively the same but start to incorporate new ideas and feelings from a maturing mind, suddenly all my friends who used to want to trade Pokemon or play Sailor Moon were into the dreaded makeup, boys, cheerleading! And of course being raised on teen movies that taught me cheerleaders were mean bullies, I panicked.

So I put on my Hot Topic gear, got some makeup of my own (ANTI-MAKEUP) and shunned things like Charmed and The OC and other things teenage girls watched in favor of Utena and Hellsing. And like so many weeaboos and baby bats before me, I was loud and proud about my interests to the point of being disruptive and rude, but you couldn’t tell me that, oh no, everyone was mean to me because I was different and special and they just couldn’t handle that, not because I went off on tangents about my anime to the point that we never got out of a lesson early even when other classes had. Not because I begged my English teacher to let me read terrible fan fiction in class as extra credit or because I openly told people from my school that I hated it and everyone there was a baka gaijin who didn’t understand the amazing depth of my manga collection (to be fair, I still enjoy a lot of my manga, I stand by it being pretty trippy and cool.)

Hurtful meme found on the Internet directed at Weeaboos

 I never once stopped to think that I was being rude and forcing something these other kids had no interest in on them, they didn’t hate me because I was different, they hated me because I was an insufferable jerk who took it upon myself to force my interests on them when for the most part none of them ever tried to do the same. And even then there were people who were still nice to me. The cheerleader who secretly loved Card Captor Sakura, the football captain who chatted cheerfully about his favorite Final Fantasy strategies, but I overlooked these people and acted like a grade A jerk. Which doesn’t excuse the older kids beating me up or shoving me down stairs, but rest assured I was not just some innocent victim that everyone hated because she was so special.

Then I went to a private school where most of the kids were just like me, creative, into what I was, weird, quirky, artsy. The problem was most of us brought our clique problems and social structure beliefs with us to school but no one wanted to admit that so did they, which continued the cycle of bullying and hatred, except now it was geek-on-geek bullying. There were only really two upper classmen who ever really stood by me and befriended me entirely instead of bullying or ignoring me and my group. One of those people was Caitlin Seida, who brought me into writing for I Feel Delicious. She was also the one who took time (in small doses) to talk to me and show me that not everyone was against me and eventually I grew up into a half-way decent person. I still have moments of vehement dislike for people I don’t know based on something they do that rubs me the wrong way, but with time and patience, I can look past whatever my initial dislike came from, be it annoying over enthusiasm, bravado bordering on Miles Gloriosus, or genuine rudeness.

All most newbies need is a gentle guiding hand to push them in the right direction and learn to understand what they’re doing wrong and why it bothers people. Everyone needs a friend, everyone deserves to be loved and cared for and to experience an element of human kindness, and every young kid just getting into a subculture needs to be taught the basics. You weren’t perfect when you started wearing Lolita, your first cosplay wasn’t screen accurate, perfect, and handmade, your first goth ensemble wasn’t top of the line Euro-goth couture or Harajuku finds, you started somewhere and so must they. So offer your hand in friendship, not in punishment. Be a Margaery, not a Cersei.

Keelah Monster (formerly Tali'Belle) is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

A Look Into the Ludicrous World of ‘Fake Geek Girl’ Shaming

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

What is your cosplay’s name? It is Tali’Zorah Vas Normandy Nar Rayya. What is her quest? To reclaim her home world, Rannoch, and help Shepard defeat the Reapers. What is her favored weapon!? Well, what do you mean? A power based weapon or a firearm? –beat- I don’t know that..WAAAAAAHHH! Keelah…Is he coming back? No?

Well, with that trivia nut over a cliff, I’m Tali’Belle Cosplay and this article is about exactly that: The Arthurian questing amount of hoops a female geek has to jump through in order to be accepted as a geek. Can you name every single Robin? Name two Batman villainesses that aren’t Catwoman, Poison Ivy, or Harley Quinn! Ha, anyone can do that, phony, now recite the Jedi and Sith codes perfectly whilst juggling lightsabers and denouncing the Star Wars prequels and hell, even the originals, in favor of the expanded universe (only for TRUE FANS!) Can’t do that? Aww, too bad, you can’t join our boys club.

Darth Makenna - Used under CC License from Jarrah Hodge

This may sound rather silly, but it is quite common in geek culture unfortunately, so much so that even professional writers have been shown to have their heads rectally implanted when it comes to the very idea of the female geek. But really, the worst of it is that we female geeks can get in on it towards each other.

But Tali’Belle, you’re the cosplay columnist, why is this issue related to you? Well, citizen, if you are a frequent reader you may recall the tale of Jaime, our lovely Morrigan cosplayer from my bullying and harassment article. She got quite the third degree for being attractive and cosplaying as Morrigan, didn’t she? That is unfortunately all too common: Bullying in the form of a special sort of slut shaming and misogyny.

It has been suggested that this mind set basically came about because of the stereotypical Hollywood high school film tropes. Kids see these movies, think it’s normal, non-nerds bully nerds, nerds accuse non-nerds who haven’t done anything of being bullies, non-nerds fight back, it’s a vicious cycle that really only continues because it’s how kids are brought up to believe the world works.

 Unfortunately in this day and age a two income household is practically a requirement in a two parent home, and then you have single parents or homes where one parent doesn’t or can’t work, but in most homes one thing is very common: for whatever reason parents are absent or don’t have time for their kids, which leads to them letting TV raise them (I don’t include internet or video games because the tropes that cause the bullying cycle originated in teen movies and don’t really carry through in very many games.)

CC License from Malin Sjoberg

But I’m getting off target, the point is this society has led to nerd culture viewing fandoms and geekery as an escape and if people they liken to the pretty girls who ‘ignored’ or ‘mocked’ them can be part of it, then where can they go? Which also leads to female geeks getting in on the action.

There’s also the belief that if one chooses to take time and money to work on their appearance, they aren’t true to their geekdom because they’re not devoting all their time to it (actually beating the tar out of Kai Leng while wearing a green tea cleansing mask is incredibly satisfying and most skin and hair treatments are meant to sit while you do other things, including game or read or work on cosplays (though I don’t recommend that as hair dye will stain your fabric)). It’s an all or nothing mentality and rings a bit hypocritical since most of geek culture has interests outside of one set fandom.

Recently Warner Brothers has contributed to this nightmarish debacle of discrimination by actively saying they don’t WANT female fans of their super hero shows since girls don’t buy merchandise apparently. Oh really? Someone better tell my friends that girls don’t like buying merchandise; it’d save us all a lot of money on Harley Quinn trinkets or Teen Titans DVDs or Batman comics. Come on, patriarchy, I thought the stereotype was that we women did nothing BUT shop, make up your minds, boys!

Let me let you in on a little secret: Fake geek girl isn’t a thing that actually exists. Being a nerd or a geek is about enjoying something or being enthusiastic about it. People who don’t want girls (or ‘normal girls’/’preppy girls’/whatever) in their little private social club, literally the equivalent of a preschool ‘NO GURLZ ALOUD’ tree house sign, arbitrarily choose and change what does or doesn’t make someone a geek and what is and isn’t a stereotype about females. After all, how can women not buy merchandise but do nothing but shop? It’s a contradiction. How can a woman only want attention and not care about the subject matter she’s portraying when she’s taken literally hundreds of dollars (sometimes thousands) and months of time and energy to perfect a costume? Only in a world where what makes someone ‘fake’ changes arbitrarily to suit the needs of a bully. 

Diablo III Cosplayers at Igromir 2013 - CC License by Sergey Galyonkin

And yes, let’s be frank here: if you are belittling and insulting someone to push them out of your clique, you are a bully, simple at that. You are Regina George. You are the jocks in Revenge of the Nerds. You are Flash Thompson (jerk jock variation, none of the heroic interpretations), you are Nelson Nash, you are Gao the Lesser (except you aren’t voiced by Nathan Fillion and don’t know kung fu, which actually makes you worse), you are Crabbe and Goyle, Dudley Dursley, every jerkass bully who ever got their comeuppance, and you are turning the very person YOU perceive as the bully in that situation into the hero of the story.

So remember, ‘fake geek girls’, if people give you shit about being who you are and still enjoying geeky things? You aren’t fake, there’s nothing wrong with you, you are Hermione Granger, you are Katniss Everdeen, you are Commander Jane Shepard, you are Lara Croft; you are the heroine of your story and you will prevail and come out on top, just keep doing what you love and see the bullies and misogynists for what they are. In fact call them on it. Politely ask them why they think that way, normally you’ll lead them into a spluttering circle of confusion or a vicious spewing of patriarchal vitriol. Either way, you win because they look downright stupid or insane.

Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

Dead or Alive: Extreme Bikini Cosplay

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

Video games put a lot of emphasis on sex appeal, mostly for men using women, but sometimes it’s the other way around (Zevran Araini and Thane Krios are good examples of more sexualized males in video games, but there are others.) And you know what? This really isn’t a problem for me. Whatever, you wanna make a woman wear a skin tight cat suit that shows off a ton on cleavage while she guns down celestial beings or have a blue skinned space babe snap necks with her thigh high high heeled boots? That’s your business and as long as she’s still a good character with thought and energy put into her, I really don’t care. Hell, Sylvanas Windrunner and Jaina Proudmoore can have a drunken lesbian make out session in bikinis for all I care as long as they still command armies, cities, and respect while kicking ass. A sexy girl doesn’t have to be looked down upon and disrespected….

Harley Quinn and Catwoman cosplays at Comicon Chile. Copyright Javier Rosh, used under a CC License

Unless you’re in the cosplay community. So much whining of ‘Ohh this cosplayer wears such skimpy outfits!’ or ‘Ohh she’s an attention whore!’ Um….good theory, Sherlock, or maybe I could deduce a new one? Perhaps she’s going for accuracy based on a costume that really looks like that? Ladies and gents, let’s not pretend we all hate and disdain Dead or Alive or Soul Calibur or other fighting games with completely impractical outfits. They are a ton of fun and what small character development you get to see in game is fun, quirky, and diverse. But there is not a lot of variety in the nature of costumes. I could dress as Helena Douglass rather than Tina Armstrong, I could be Sophitia rather than Ivy, but there would still be a ton of cleavage and either skin tight painted on pants or a short skirt. Besides, cosplay should be about whom you love and what you feel comfortable in, not trying to cater to hypocritical slut shamers and prudes.

Soul Caliber Tira and Talim cosplay. Copyright megadem. Used under a CC License.

You know, I used to be firmly in the other camp. Cosplay shouldn’t be for attention! You’re dressing slutty! Whine whine whine, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. But you know what? After being squarely called out on my bullshit, I took a step back and had a look. It’s not the cosplayers in skimpy costumes who are wrong, it’s the view society has that if a female dresses in something skimpy, she is dressing up for men and is an attention seeking slut. Now keeping this open ended, there may be some exceptions in the cosplay community, but this is not a piece to perpetuate slut shaming and calling people out, so if there is, here’s a bombshell: IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. Can they afford/make the cosplay? Do they credit people who may have contributed? Are they happy and having a good time? If you answered yes to these questions, then shut your mouth, it’s not your business why they’re cosplaying in what outfit. Crawl back into your panel and try and find a way to enjoy a con that doesn’t involve picking on others.

Oh, but costumes that actually are skimpy aren’t the only problem. Oh no, slut shamers and jerks will make a completely ordinary costume into something overtly sexual even if it covers more than a hijab and burqa. Dressing as Sue Storm or Harley Quinn? Too tight! Ugh! All that slutty, slutty spandex! Hell, even when I dress as Tali, I still get the occasional: Oh, it’s hugging her body so tightly, she totally wants attention, she’s totally getting off on Talimancers looking at her. Or maybe I just really like and identify with this character.



 And of course, as mentioned before, if your body is anything less than perfect then a ‘skimpy’ or ‘tight’ costume can be used as an excuse to take you down a peg and call you out on things because how dare you have the self-confidence to dress as a character you enjoy without being a Barbie!? Actually, this is one of the reasons Dragon Con is now my home con and not Otakon. At Otakon, catty high school aged weeaboos had begun to reign supreme. Woe to any Yoko Litner over a hundred pounds, death be upon a Seras Victoria with thick thighs. I was a ‘fat cosplayer’ there because I have large hips and my belly isn’t perfectly flat. But at Dragon Con, there were lovely ladies of every size in outfits ranging from full armor to chain mail bikinis and no one batted an eyelash I heard maybe one catty comment all week, and that was craftsmanship related and they probably thought no one could hear them anyway. No one was mean to people. My boyfriend Robert and I even got thunderous applause at the costume contest despite my thighs and belly and his magnificent chest hair peeking out of his robe.

Yaya Han as Emma Frost, from the mistress's Facebook Page

But I digress. Are you conventionally attractive and in a skimpy costume? Don’t worry; the slutshaming nitpickers haven’t forgotten you. I’m going to gush about my idol, Yaya Han, again for a while. Yaya recently got a show on Sci Fi called Heroes of Cosplay. It was highly controversial and created a bit of a rift in the cosplay community, but as long as you accepted it as reality TV, it was honestly harmless and actually kind of fun to watch. Plus it helped my mom understand my hobby better, so Yaya, if you happen to be linked this or Google yourself and find this, thanks! You had a hand in helping me get a little extra help paying for costuming school and materials to start a small business!

But anyway, immediately some other cosplayers I used to idolize let out their claws and showed how ugly their egos can be when they tore into Yaya about tiny minute details that any cosplayer could overlook. ‘Her contacts for Fiora Nightraven are the wrong color!’ ‘Domino doesn’t use that weapon!’ ‘Emma Frost doesn’t wear pants like that!’ (Actually, yes she does sometimes and also Yaya outright said she wasn’t comfortable cosplaying in a thong, hence the pants.) The vitriol went on obsessively to the point where it was no longer a critique on controversial things in her show, it was tearing down a fellow cosplayer who is doing what she loves and working tirelessly to run a business, promote our hobby as normal and interesting, and still have a good time. Not to mention the age shaming. They said she was ‘aging’ because she’s over twenty-five. Now you tell me who’s making cosplay look bad. A cosplayer who dresses sexy or a cosplayer who talks cruelly about others?

The cosplay community is so quick to accuse each other of attention whoring and being a ‘fake geek’ (which I will address next week), and forget that skimpy costumes and sexy outfits come from a point of accuracy. It rings a mite hypocritical to say ‘I need my Asari tendrils to feel EXACTLY LIKE CARTILEGE SO IT’S ACCURATE!’ or ‘I need to use nothing but real Italian leather in my Zevran cosplay!’ and then throw a shit fit because you see an Arkham City Harley Quinn prancing around in a bra with her thong showing, or a Tiny Armstrong in a bikini.

 Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

I’m Not Perfect (and That’s Okay)

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

I preach body positivity, but I’m not thin enough to ever hope for Jaina Proudmoore’s silhouette. I preach cosplaying for fun, but my silhouette in my envirosuit is the only silhouette I smile at. I preach being nice to others and not criticizing, insulting, or harassing…but I’m my own worst bully. Nothing that small handful of petty girls harassing me for cosplaying a pairing they don’t like could say could hurt me as badly as what I think of myself.

Tali'Belle herself, from DeviantArt

Cosplay makes me happy, I feel good about myself when people compliment my pics or say kind things to me in public at conventions. My spirit soars and I smile bright and wide, I laugh, I joke, I have a wonderful time. But….


That’s what I was going to write. It was hopeless, it was depressing, it was not a very positive message. But here’s the thing, no one is perfect. No one at all. Yaya Han says things that are misinterpreted and needs to redo small mistakes when she makes things too, Jennifer Lawrence gets called fat, my friends from Tumblr to Deviantart to Facebook show that almost every cosplayer has some painful insecurity that hurts them.

 Even the characters I idolize and dress as have imperfections. Tali is insecure in her leadership abilities, can be opinionated, and gets flustered and nervous at times, but she still wields her shot gun and tech powers expertly, she’s still regarded as one of the sweetest, most genuinely good, loyal, and well-loved characters you can recruit, and is a favorite romance option. Jaina Proudmoore was too trusting, was never on time for anything, and was wrought with regret over many, many things and now she’s let the betrayals she suffered make her bitter and angry, but Jaina is also one of the strongest, most capable mages of all time, not just of her gender but her entire class and has led both cities and armies. Sweetie Belle is naïve, a little less than the brightest bulb in the box, and can be very annoying but her friends and family love her and she’s a true and loyal friend.

Tali'Belle as Jaina Proudmoore, from DeviantArt

Imperfections make us real, imperfections make us alive, imperfections make us interesting. Would Tali be considered half as cute and sweet if she didn’t stumble over her words with Shepard? Would she be regarded as a well-rounded character if she wasn’t wrong sometimes and didn’t grow from learning she was? Would, say, Lara Croft, be such a great character and role model for female gamers if she hadn’t started out as a terrified girl who could barely fire a gun fighting for her life and sometimes making the wrong choices for the right reasons?

People don’t like Lara, like Tali, like Jaina because they’ve got perfect, beautiful, flawless bodies. The fact is in real life they wouldn’t, those are pixels and besides, Tali’s wide hips are some people’s favorite part of her, Jaina’s somewhat less glamorous face was highly preferred to her heavily made up newer model (not that wearing makeup is bad, it can be fun and is a major healthy self-esteem boost to get prettied up), Lara’s fan base, even those who sexualize her, for the most part are drawn to her strength. We as cosplayers, as geeks, as people forget that these characters, like us, have faults and imperfections that don’t make people like them any less.

I think ultimately, this backs up the entire message of my posts in general. Don’t be perfect, be a human being, accept and treat others as human beings, be kind, be courteous, be good. If you are kind to others in your community, you will find friends. You may not talk all the time or even know each other too well off the internet and outside the con, but you will know them and you know their insecurities, their fears, their hopes, the things they like and you will see they are just like you…You will not feel alone. We are all imperfect and that’s okay. If you live with your imperfections, you are not a bad person. If you fix them with medicine or surgery or makeup, you are not a bad person. If you want to but can’t afford it, you are not a bad person.


No one has the right to tell you how to think or feel. Don’t let what cruel people with nothing better to do than hurt others affect you. Anyone who goes out of their way to hide behind a private anonymous message or a screen name and say hateful things about you and has nothing better to do isn’t worth your time. Improve imperfections that hurt others in the healthiest way you can and do what you will with the ones that don’t affect anyone.

 Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

Conventional Behavior: Doing Cons Right

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

So I've gone over a few things in the con/cosplay community which are awful, absolutely inappropriate, and just not right. "But Tali’Belle, hang on there!" you say, "How can we have fun at cons if there are so many rules and so many things we can’t do?" Well, citizen, first of all, it’s all about using your head, common sense and all that. If it’s inappropriate and rude in everyday life, it’s probably inappropriate and rude at a con too. But then things can get blurry when we take into account that at a con, you know you are surrounded by your fellow nerds and people who enjoy what you do. Is it appropriate to ask the cute couple cosplaying as Tali and Garrus if they plan to do some ‘Talibrations’ later? After all, you aren't insulting them or touching them, you’re joking. Can you yell ‘PASTAAAA’ if you’re cosplaying as Italy from Hetalia? After all, it IS in character. Is it permissible to ‘ship’ other cosplayers when dressed as Nepeta Leijon or another shipper/matchmaker character?

Copyright flickr.com/siredgar Used under Creative Commons License

Well, here’s the thing: conventions are fun, exciting, and a place where a nerd can feel at home, so by all means, if people aren't bothered by your behavior and it isn't hurting/endangering anyone (including yourself, it’s probably ill-advised for a Batman cosplayer to think they can actually glide off a third floor railing in the Marriott Marquis, all told. Even if he won’t land on anyone.) have a good time. But here are some things to consider:

The first thing is asking for a photograph/hug/handshake/etc. Be mindful of the person you are requesting it from as well as your location. Is the person upset, preoccupied, or rushing somewhere? If so, wait. You’ll probably see them again. Also, are you asking in the dealer’s hall or another crowded area? If so, take it outside, step out for a moment to a place that’s more relaxed where you won’t be in the way.

Now, permission is also important. Some cosplayers are shy, or self-conscious, or a host of other reasons they don’t wish to be photographed. Unless they have entered a contest on stage where photography is part of the package, you have to ask. Not only for their sake, but also for the sake of those around you. Younger con goers or parents who brought young children are there and what could be creepier than, say, a grown man with a camera aimed at a particularly attractive Sailor Scout without the cosplayer’s knowledge?

Robert Downey Jr. Invades Tom Hiddleston's Space. Don't be like RDJ!

As for the touching thing, from personal experience, let me explain to you: cosplayers of all ages, genders, and sizes have likely been perved on or groped before. They have no way of knowing you aren’t reaching for their crotch, ass, or breasts when going in for a hug, so please, ask before you do (and once given permission, keep in mind that isn't an invitation to go for those places, remember the picture of Tom Hiddleston with his arm around Emma Watson for a picture? Be like Tom Hiddleston, hug respectfully.)

Another thing to be aware of is your costume/prop. Cosplaying as Songbird or a Big Daddy from the Bioshock games? Awesome! Amazing costume, big ticket price or lots of hard work, I’m sure you’re very proud of it. But watch large parts or props like a wingspan or a weapon. I know from experience it is uncomfortable trying to sit with or carry one of these, but a staff should be carried upright and at your side or just ever so slightly in front of you unless you are posing. A sword should be sheathed or carried by your side; a gun must be holstered or, in the case of large ones like Seras Victoria of Hellsing’s Harkonnen Canon, carried like a staff. This is not just to avoid hurting other con goers but also to keep your prop from getting broken. Props are expensive and take a lot of skill and effort to craft; it is devastating for one to be destroyed.

On that note, same principal as touching a cosplayer applies to touching their props: Ask permission. You don’t know what it’s made of, how much it cost, how much work was put in, how delicate it is. Its owner does, so listen to them when they say whether or not you can hold/touch their prop and when they tell you how.

Copyright Doug Kline. Used Under a Creative Commons License

Remember the last article I wrote where our male model cosplayer Mark had a pregnant girlfriend who stayed home from the con? Consider your health. Not everyone follows con etiquette and accidents do happen. If you have a medical condition or are ill, it may be best to stay home. If not, most people do understand. Tickets are expensive and non-refundable and con plague IS a fact of life, as long as it isn't potentially life threatening, no one will hate you for showing up with a cold. As to being pregnant? If you still decide to show up, there is no shame or stigma. Maternity cosplays can be adorable (and who wouldn't think it was cute if our Drogo had had a lovely Daenerys carrying Rhaego inside of her cosplaying with him?) but please, be careful. Be alert for unruly congoers and dangerous situations because frankly some people are just plain stupid and think nothing of endangering fellow congoers. To those of you who are those people: stop it. There is NOTHING cute about someone getting hurt or worse because of your antics. Pouncing, glomping, etc. are NEVER appropriate unless it’s a previously agreed upon skit or photoshoot with a friend.

Thrall and Aggra from WoW

Both sides of the coin for harassment: For those of you who harass a fellow cosplayer; stop and think. This is a fellow human being with hobbies and interests in common with you. They are here to have a good time. Put your character hate aside. Appreciate the beauty of their cosplay. Are you cosplaying as Jaina Proudmoore and angry that Thrall was paired with Aggra instead? If you meet an Aggra cosplayer, here are some alternatives: Ignore her or else make friends, who knows what fun photos you two could have parodying that rivalry? As another example, say you ship Karkat/Terezi from Homestuck but a couple is cosplaying Dave/Terezi: again, that’s an opportunity to make a friend who just has a different opinion and get a funny photoshoot. I personally dream of the day I can do a Miranda Lawson vs. Tali photoshoot or aforementioned Aggra vs. Jaina. Even if you don’t like a character or a pairing, you still have something in common with this fellow human being who has the same enthusiasm you do for a fandom and you should embrace it.

Now, if you’re the one being harassed and the harasser isn’t rational enough to ignore you or simply be polite, go get con security. If you fight back, you will get kicked out as well; your ticket is non-refundable. Con security is supposed to deal with this sort of thing and 9.9 times out of ten, they will.

Twin Lara Crofts with Squall Leonhart in the middle. Copyright Bruce Moyle, Used Under a Creative Commons License

DON’T INSULT OTHER COSPLAYERS. So you worked hard on your cosplay, think you’re amazing and all, and then you see another person cosplaying the same character (I am guilty of this, but I’ve moved past it, thankfully). Everyone has the right to cosplay as the character they want. You are cosplaying a fictional entity. Rose Tyler isn’t real. Vriska Serket isn’t real. Commander Shepard isn’t real. Luna Lovegood isn’t real. Yuna isn’t real. Katniss Everdeen isn’t real and so on and so forth. You are [insert your legal name here], a human living in [insert country here] in the year 2013 (or maybe you’re reading this a few years from now, if so: Good news, everyone! You’re in the future!), and that other person is [their name here], not the character. Besides, if you act petty like that, you’re missing out on a wonderfully fun pastime called twinning. Common in J-Fashion communities, twinning is when you are wearing the same outfit (or a similar, complimenting outfit). Most rational, friendly cosplayers enjoy twinning and since I calmed my tits about others cosplaying the same character as me, I’ve had offer after offer for twinning photos and they are so much fun! Even if you don’t want to twin, keep in mind as above, this is a fellow human being who worked hard or paid a lot of money to make this costume a reality and they have just as much right to enjoy it as you do. If they did better in some way, you could even ask for tips. If you did better in some way and they ask, then you can give them tips.


Overall, cosplay and the convention scene is a community, it is for fun and meant to bring people together, to tell geeks and nerds everywhere: You are not alone. You have a family that is millions strong, let your flag fly, we welcome you. Divisive, cruel behavior should have no place in that sort of setting.

 Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

Female Protagonist X is a Dirty Whore! Cosplay Harassment Comes in Many Forms

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

Cosplay harassment has had big reveal in the media lately with Cosplay is Not Consent, stories of con goers with hidden cams asking for hugs to get breast shots, interviews with female cosplayers becoming solely about their bodies or pop quizzing them to prove their geek cred. All you need to do is look up the Cosplay is Not Consent movement to see the demeaning things cosplayers have said to them and it isn’t just to female cosplayers either. The unfortunate truth is that this is another case of objectification. Let’s first look from a few neutral perspectives, one of each gender. Then I will get on my soap box about personal experiences and things I’ve actually seen happen to others.

Jamie and Mark

We will follow two theoretical cosplayers for these next two paragraphs and we will call them Jaime, who is a twenty-something female Cosplaying as Morrigan from the Dragon

Morrigan from Dragon Age

Age franchise, Jaime is a girl with toned figure and is a busty girl, her face fits a generally accepted standard of attractiveness and she knows how to put on makeup, Jaime makes her own costumes and has four years of fashion and costume design schooling under her belt with fifteen years of sewing experience.

Her counterpart will be Mark. Mark is also a twenty-something and is somewhat of a fitness enthusiast. He also has made his own costume and has years of experience in sewing and crafting. His features are general standard of attractiveness for a man and he has a toned, fit form. Mark is excited to be Cosplaying as Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones for this convention and even grew his hair and beard out for the occasion. Say hi to Mark and Jaime, everyone, aren’t their cosplays lovely?

So let’s start with Jaime’s day. Jaime walks into the con, attends the Dragon Age photoshoot, then the general Bioware photoshoot and is having a wonderful time. A majority of the people she meets tell her how excellent her cosplay is and what a lovely Morrigan she makes. Until they arrive. They are a group of men in T-shirts that mark them as working for a website catering to the sort of guy who watches Tosh.0 on a regular basis. They have recording equipment and are approaching her, so against her better judgment, Jaime politely stops and smiles as they ask if they can ask her a few questions. Getting right in character, Jaime replies in a perfect rendition of Morrigan’s accent that they just have and might as well continue to do so. And that’s when they ask her breast size. If her breasts are real, if she even knows who she’s Cosplaying as, pointless trivia about Dragon Age. And all the while, their camera is zoomed on Jaime’s cleavage. Jaime gets tired of their crap and walks off, which they then use in editing to paint her as a rude ‘bitch’ with no idea what she’s talking about.

Nevermind that Jaime’s contribution to the Dragon Age fandom was a beautifully done, screen accurate rendition of Morrigan’s outfit, hair, and weapon, while their sole contribution was bullying a fellow fan and treating her like a piece of meat, thus making it frightening for other girls who enjoy the game to cosplay from it.


And now we visit Mark as he goes throughout his day. Mark is pretty proud of the paint job he did to portray Drogo. He knows nothing about makeup and his girlfriend usually helps

Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones

him with that, but because she’s expecting a baby this year, she has stayed home from the convention in interest of her health and Mark has been forced to do it himself with her guiding him via Skype. With her help, though, he’s proud of his accomplishment in something he isn’t familiar with or very good at. His work pays off as many people stop him for pictures on the way to Emilia Clarke’s Q&A panel, where Emilia herself takes a picture with him and proclaims him her Sun and Stars on video because she enjoys his portrayal so much.

Mark, like Jaime, is having a wonderful day….Until a hand presses to his chest, smearing the paint that took so long, that he literally had no idea how to do himself until this morning. A much younger girl is running her hands all over his chest and cooing about how big and strong he is. She refers to him as Drogo and makes lewd suggestions to him as her friends rush over and begin to touch his costume and his person without permission. Mark feels uncomfortable and asks them to please stop but they simply chastise him for not speaking in Drogo’s voice and using Westerosi common as opposed to speaking Dothraki. They harass him for a good five minutes until he finally manages to get away (it took him so long because Mark does not hit girls and worries he’d hurt them if he were too rough in his struggling) and find con security, but instead of helping Mark and dealing with his assailants, they laugh at him and don’t believe a strong man like him could be harassed by a group of teenage girls.

Mark doesn’t feel much like a Khal anymore, in fact he feels like he might retire this costume and go back home for the remainder of the con. So as you can see, all cosplayers, regardless of gender deal with this sort of harassment.

Izzy and Evan

Now let’s look at another kind of harassment and meet two brand new cosplayers. The first one is Izzy, Izzy is a pretty young girl in her twenties, she’s a bit on the heavier side but takes great pride in her appearance, has good hygiene, and is a nice person. She isn’t a good actress, but she just loves her fandoms and this prompts her to cosplay, but not choose to be in character.

Ever since she was a little girl, she has loved Full Metal Alchemist, it is her very favorite

Winry Rockbell from Full Metal Alchemist

anime and she is eager to cosplay as Winry Rockbell, the love interest of Edward Elric. She’s got a perfect wig, picked an outfit of Winry’s that she knows flatters her, and practiced smiling beautifully for pictures in the mirror. Izzy is new to cosplay and sewing, but her outfit looks great and as a beginner, that is a point of pride for her.








 Now let’s meet Izzy’s counterpart, his name is Evan. Evan is new to Cosplaying as well and his favorite character in the webcomic Homestuck is Eridan. Evan learned to style wigs just so that he could properly pull off Eridan and he's practiced may in character poses for photos. 

Eridan from Homestuck

He doesn’t really want to be in character, though, because while he enjoys Eridan’s character, he knows others find him creepy and Evan would hate to upset someone and have them get the wrong idea.


Now, let’s see how these two go about their days. Izzy has just had lunch with her sister Jaime and heard about her awful experience earlier. Izzy feels for Jaime, but is very glad that she herself didn’t choose a skimpy costume for fear the same would happen to her. Izzy so far has had a lovely day. Her favorite VA has signed her DVD case, she was complimented on her costume and told a few times that she made a very pretty Winry, she even really clicked with a cute Edward Elric cosplayer and is meeting her for dinner later after having exchanged phone numbers…until they appear. In this case, they are a group of girls in their early teens glaring at her angrily.

They tell her that Winry is a useless slut who doesn’t deserve Edward and is stealing him from more worthy girls. Despite Izzy’s gentle protest that she is not Winry, she just likes the character, these girls continue to scream at her. One rips off her wig and stomps on it while another snatches her wrench prop out of her hand and snaps the foam piece that poor Izzy worked so hard to sand and cure and paint right in half! Izzy is crying by now, begging to be left alone and one of the girls actually hits her and spits on her before they leave. Izzy was not even acting in character and this was her very first cosplay. Now a quarter of it is ruined and she’s so shaken she doesn’t want to leave her hotel room for a while once she returns.
Now how is Evan faring? This is Evan’s very first convention and the Homestuck meet up went wonderfully. Everyone has complimented his wig and his poses will look wonderful when the pics hit the internet. He even got some cute funny pictures with some of the female trolls either kissing and cuddling or pretending to kick him, just funny, in character shots. He is just thinking about checking out the dealer’s room to buy a prop for the next photoshoot…and that’s when it happens, he’s shoved to the ground roughly and glaring down at him is a girl and her boyfriend.
They chastise him for being a creep, scoff that no one likes Eridan and he’d better not come near them or he’ll be sorry. Besides, his cosplay is bad anyway and his glasses make him look like a hipster. The girl actually kicks him before they leave. And now his wig is ruined, his glasses have broken in the fall and while he’ll shrug this off and report it on the internet as a convention horror story, he is still out the money he spent on these things and his experience has still been soured.

Stepping Into My Shoes

Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect

So that’s touching on two basic sorts of cosplay related harassment, but let me explain some personal experiences I’ve had with it and, in doing so, bring up something deeply personal about myself. I’m a sexual assault survivor. As other survivors will understand, things that some people view as harmless or mild are incredibly triggering and frightening for me. It also magnifies things that are already unpleasant and degrading. Add in bad anxiety and something that would make another person angry becomes for me spending the rest of my day nauseous, extra sensitive, and panicked.

With that said, as I mentioned in my last article, the characters I cosplay often result in things like me getting my ass grabbed during photos, being creeped on in comments on my pictures, even having my breasts groped more than a couple times in the past. All those things in and of themselves are horrible and degrading. They almost make being called ‘Jaina Proudwhore’ and ‘Titty’Zorah Vas Boobies’ not all that bad (infact I took Proudwhore back and used it as my username a couple of places for a while, it helped that it also referenced a popular machinima).

But the one experience that really stands out for me is this: I cosplay as Tali and my boyfriend cosplays as Garrus Vakarian. Now people who play Mass Effect may be aware

Tali from Mass Effect

that if you don’t choose either of those two as your romance option, Garrus and Tali become a couple in the third game. It’s a cute little thing that literally has no bearing on Shepard being with either of them considering it only happens if you don’t romance them.

That didn’t stop a few ‘Garrusmancers’ from going off the deep end about it, though. I actually turned anon asks off on my Tumblr because when I announced our couples cosplay for last year, I got replies like  ‘‘Fuck you, you suit-rat slut, I’m going to punch your fucking helmet in’ 'Tali should get space aids and die, you’re a skanky whore’ and my personal favorite, the only comment to make me cry since I lost weight: ‘You’re a dumb slut who doesn’t deserve Garrus. Someone should rip up your envirosuit and you should be gang raped and die in an alley.’ 

It’s not a well worded hate comment, nor is it really poignant or well thought out, however given my own past experiences and the very real seriousness of sexual assault and all of what’s been going on in the media lately, I was scared. I was scared and I was upset. I shut my computer, curled up in a hot bath and cried.

That. Is not. Okay. NO ONE should be told they deserve to be raped because they interfere with your imaginary pairing. You know what? I hate a lot of pairings, but I’ve never told someone who cosplays within the pairings that sort of thing. No sane, functioning person has. While the last thing I spoke about can be chalked up to ignorance, harassment takes someone who genuinely has a mean streak and perhaps isn’t all there. A mean comment behind someone’s back? Thinking a mean comment in your head? Okay, we’re all human. It isn’t nice, but it really doesn’t hurt anyone. But to physically hurt someone? To ruin their time at an even they paid for? To threaten them or tell them they deserve to be harmed? That is sick and that needs to stop.  


 Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

A Double-Edged Prop Sword: Cosplaying and Body Image

"A Double-Edged Prop Sword: Cosplaying and Body Image" 

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

 The cosplay community is full of some of the very best, most creative people in the world. We take costumes, some of which have no basis in reality, and make them a reality. Fans of the characters we dress as often consider us to be bringing their favorite character to life.

My favorite memories in cosplay are a young girl in her early teens dressed as Katara from the series “Avatar: The Last Airbender” running up to me yelling ‘Tali’Zorah! Tali’Zorah!’ (a reference to the character I was dressed as, from the video game “Mass Effect”) and giving me a hug while I waited in line for Mark Meer’s autograph, or the time two girls near my age dressed as Panty and Stocking (from the eponymous anime) bowed to me and begged ‘Lady Proudmoore, please don’t become a raid boss, we love you.’.

From becoming someone’s head canon for Tali’s real face to being hailed as a beautiful interpretation of Lady Jaina Proudmoore (a character from the video game World of Warcraft), much of my life as a cosplayer makes me feel good about myself. But it wasn’t always so for me and certainly isn’t always so for others.

"The Problem is Not Exclusive to Body Shaming"

Before I was ‘Lady Proudmoore’ or ‘Miss Jaina’, I was just a nineteen year old girl wearing a vaguely Jaina-esque outfit for fun online and the comments were very different: ‘Jaina let herself go when Thrall left her’, ‘Damn, Jaina! What happened? Too many mana biscuits?’ and all that flack. And those are minor insults compared to what other heavyset girls in the cosplay community have endured.

Every day from Deviantart to Tumblr, I see perfectly good cosplays verbally torn to shreds because the cosplayer somehow doesn’t fit a conventional standard of beauty. Even after losing weight, it’s disheartening to know I’m one bad week or two away from being ‘Fatty’Zorah Vas Nomandy’ (I didn’t say their insults were all clever.) But you see, weight has nothing to do with how sexy someone is or how good a cosplayer they are. My favorite cosplay of Velma Dinkley (and by far the most attractive and well done I’ve seen) has been a bigger girl. There is a wonderful plus sized cosplayer practically famous for her Harley Quinn. And still these girls are forced to endure insults! Why?

But even when you ARE able to lose weight or fit a societal standard of what looks good, it doesn’t stop, because the problem is not exclusive to body shaming, but also objectification. Now I’m ‘Titty’Zorah Vas Boobies’ because of my bust size, or I have self-proclaimed ‘Talimancers’ grabbing my ass during photos. The stupidest was probably Tittybell….an extremely lame pun on Sweetie Bell from My Little Pony when I announced I wanted to cosplay as her. You need only look at Yaya Han or Vampy to see this problem in full swing. Both are beautiful women who dedicate a lot of time and energy to their craft.

Yaya Han as Chun-Li from Mortal Kombat

Yaya is a professional with years of self-taught, trial and errorexperience as well as many years in the community itself. Her craftsmanship is studio quality and every time I’ve met her, she’s shown herself to be a wonderful person who treats her fans well. But her kindness and craftsmanship are often overlooked by ‘fans’ who would prefer to treat her like a pair of breasts rather than a talented individual. Though she removes perverse comments or ignores them, they clog her pages daily and she isn’t the only victim of this.

I saw an excellent cosplay of Duella Dent the other day online and someone lamented that she was a ‘fake geek girl’ just another hot chick with nice tits and didn’t know anything about comics…and then this person’s ilk went on to call her ‘gender bent steampunk Joker’….Well, looks like that ‘hot chick with nice tits’ knows more about your fandom than you do, gentlemen. Any female who dons a sexy cosplay is victim to this. But to really understand why people feel the need to do this, we have to look at the type of people who lash out at someone just for their body type. We will ignore certain examples because sometimes body- or slut-shaming ends up in the crossfire of someone being called out on personality flaws, which is a different issue entirely (to quote Mean Girls “I don’t hate you because you’re fat, you’re fat because I hate you.”).

"A Sexist Notion Born of Complete Ignorance"

The main people who, unprovoked and knowing nothing about a person, will shame or mock their body or sexuality tend to be those who don’t cosplay. The men who were picked on for being nerds in high school and desperately want geekdom to remain their domain and have become their own variant of ‘plastics’ (again, if you haven’t seen the film “Mean Girls”, I’d recommend it,) in trying to control one place they feel ownership of, the “dudebros” who think cosplay is another venue for women to cater to them, a sexist notion born of complete ignorance to the time, effort, money, and resources it takes to pull off a cosplay whether you make the costume or not. Here’s the thing: But for people discussing someone having glaring personality flaws and their weight or ‘sluttiness’ coming up in that conversation, very few of the people involved in the ridicule are actually cosplayers. And why are so few of them cosplayers themselves? Well, to put it bluntly: Most cosplayers have a better understanding of what goes into it. 

"Cosplay Is Not Easy"

Since I don’t personally speak to a lot of the more famous and well known cosplayers, let me explain from two of my favorite cosplays of mine what went into the cosplay to give you a better idea of why only people who don’t understand are so relentless with their bullying: My World of Warcraft Lady Jaina Proudmoore costume started out as a Macy’s clearance dress and a simple cape and bolero commissioned from one of those shoddy Hong 

Tali'Belle as WoW's Jaina Proudmoore

Kong based cosplay sweatshops (before I knew how those actually worked…yikes!). From there, Jaina developed into an old belly dance skirt accented with shimmery purple Halloween fabric, a Victoria’s secret bra with cheap gold pleather and a pair of football pads as shoulder guards, to a peachskin suiting and velvet skirt from a franken-pattern I created from two different costume patterns, a different altered bra, and these really depressingly bad craft foam shoulder guards.

Finally, it has evolved into a triumph of a hand drafted pattern in two kinds of bridal satin, taffeta lined, and with a custom pair of shoulder guards ordered from a professional armorer. Altogether, the costume has been a five year work in progress, and cost over two thousand dollars in materials. Were I making it for someone else at a fair seamstress’ wage, it would be over five thousand dollars, including labor.

My Mass Effect Tali’Zorah costume started out with an altered skating pattern and an altered pair of leggings, the rest having been hand drafted by myself. It took over a hundred hours to complete and was made of a high grade spandex meant for figure skating or dance wear. I hand painted the designs onto the spandex part, hand sewed most of the vinyl parts plus the gloves. I designed entirely unfamiliar armor concepts that I’d had no experience with, wired a hamster ball with El wire and zip ties, and then the first helmet only cost $75 because it was used as a portfolio project for a costuming student, but the final helmet will come to $500, with the new fabric (high end equestrian wear/wetsuit neoprene, custom printed cotton sateen, upholstery vinyl, 4-way stretch PVC) coming close to $500 in and of itself, not even to mention to foam armor reworking and leather work for the belt that I will need to do, this costume will take over 200 hours of work and has cost about two grand thus far.

See? Cosplay is not easy and even those who buy their costume generally are making a huge financial

Tali'Belle as Tali'Zorah from Mass Effect

commitment. And all of this because they loved the character they are portraying. It is a deep love for a character, be it for design or personality, which drives a cosplayer (even if a person were theoretically looking for the skimpiest outfit, it’d still be their taste in design, thus a love of the design). Fellow cosplayers understand that. Frat boys and territorial basement dwellers do not. I say the people who body shame, who objectify, have lost the true point of cosplay.
The true point of cosplay can be different from person to person, but guess what? The person whose opinion of 
someone’s cosplay matters is that person and that person alone. For someone like Yaya Han or Vampy, cosplay may be a business, a fun challenge to interpret a character she adores and make money doing so. For someone like me, maybe it’s to get a chance to role-play in public as a character I love, to become that character for the people around me. For others, cosplay may be about fun, an adult game of dress up. There are a million reasons to cosplay that can make you happy, so don’t let some asshole who’s never picked up a sewing needle in their life become the one reason not to.   Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!