Weekly Link Roundup - January 12, 2014

By Caitlin Seida

This week we take on nudity - and why it's okay if an actress is okay with it - violence against women in Africa and the middle east, why Katie Couric really should do more research, women in the tech industry, comic book characters and their race and gender identity and more. Paula Deen can rejoice - butter is in, and it's okay! Also, a tear-jerking video of two elephants reunited after 20 years and a rage-inducing rant from the star of "Call the Midwife." This week has been a busy one in the blog-o-sphere, and we're here to catch you up. 

Entertainment and Tech

Lena Dunham and Judd Apatow talk about why Dunham's character on the TV Show Girls is always naked - responding to a rather poorly worded question from a reporter. Refinery29 has the scoop. 

Love it or hate it, Amanda Hess's piece "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet" has been setting the 'net ablaze this week. Agree or disagree with her stance, she provides a totally new look at online harassment. 

Is anyone really surprised that women have more social media presence than men? This report over at The National Association of Realtors confirms what anyone who has ever used Pinterest already knows: Social media is dominated by women. 

Poornima Vijayashanker over at CNN Money explains why the lack of women tech founders is about more than just a lack of knowledge. Read her piece "Stop Telling Women They Just Know How to Code." 

Afghani women are turning to the Internet to hide from threats and violence. Read Gopal Bantam's hard-hitting piece over at Bloomberg Politics.  The 'net is a global community, and we need to recognize that. 

Laverne Cox, the media's favorite transwoman as of late, tells Katie Couric to shove it - with dignity and grace - with regards to invasive and insensitive questions about trans people. Read the whole scoop on Salon.com. I think I'm in love. Laverne, will you be my BFF? 

Health, Sports and Wellness

Caitlin Constantine tackles the women and pull ups issue that the US Military brought up this week. It's about more than just biology. Read her take over at the Huffington Post. She brings up some pretty valid points. 

SB Nation reports on an annual Alaskan tradition. Every year the Talkeenta Bachelor Society auctions off - well, themselves - to raise money for women and children in crisis. Read the coverage of the "Wilderness Woman Competition" here for an odd look at the (only slightly ironic and kind of fun) competition. 

UFC's Matt Brown has proven himself kind of a dick by insisting that women MMA fighters should keep on fighting - only if they're topless. Read all about this guy putting his foot in his mouth over at MMA Mania.  Anyone want my ten foot pole? Because I'm not touching this one. 

We all know there's an income gap between men and women but the gap is closed in at least one area. The world's top ranked tennis players pull in the same income as men. Read more over at The Herald Sun. 

Butter consumption is at a 40 year high, and that might not be a bad thing, health-wise. This piece over at Women's Health explains why.  I can't believe it's not....oh you know. 

Imani Grandi at RH Reality Check isn't just mad - she's pissed and she explains why in her article "Feticide Laws Advance 'Personhood', Punish Pregnant Women."  Totally worth a read for anyone concerned about women's reproductive rights.

Women's perspectives of healthy genetalia and what's "normal" (not that there's any such thing) "may be" influenced by exposure to modified images. Read more in a report over at Science Daily.  And if you need a reality check, go look at the variation of women's genetalia over at the Large Labia Project (obviously Not Safe for Work.)

Culture And Media

Willa Paskin takes on the "likeable woman" archetype in Slate's piece "What's so Bad About Likable Women?"  Read for the importance of unlikable women characters. 

Smithsonian Mag released a piece on the women who mapped the universe - and got absolutely NO credit for it. Read here.  Astronomy never felt so powerful.

Over at Reason.com, Shihka Dalmia reports on the rise in female gun ownership in India. 

Call the Press! Call the Midwife Star Judy Parfitt paints herself as kind of a twat, calling women who opt for plastic surgery "pathetic."  I'm not sure I'll be watching anymore - what I do with my body (natural, artificial, cosmetic or medically necessary) is my own damn business and I don't take kindly to anyone judging me for it.

The Foreign Policy Blog offers up an interesting chart, comparing what researchers found was "appropriate apparel" for women Muslims. The verdict? Cover your hair, not your face.  The chart - and article - are worth viewing. It's interesting to see this cultural preference and how it varies from place to place, and also how it falls in line with conservative Christian and Jewish mandates for women to cover their hair. 

Listen to "Never Again" with Betty Makoni - this week she takes on the African Genocide of women on Nehanda Radio. $10 can buy a bus ticket out to  save the life of someone looking to escape the violence. So why are we wasting funds on campaigns that just aren't working? 

Fatherless children? It's all women's faults, according to Wall Street Journal writer James Taranto. Read his ridiculous piece here, along with the snarky commentary that makes me fall in love with op-ed writer Amanda Marcotte.  Forget working outside the home and the Pill - we're here to birth babies and stay shackled to the stove! Maybe then our boys would grow into strong, worthwhile men. Ahem.

Buzzfeed can be snarky, critical and downright trashy, but writer Tabir Ahkter hits the nail on the head in "13 Reasons Why Not Fitting In As a Kid Makes You An Awesome Adult." Where my weirdos at?

NPR's thought provoking piece on artist Orion Martin asks the question "Who Gets to Be a Superhero?" Examining race and gender identity in comics, this piece is a must click for all comic book fans.

Fashion and Image

Stylelist outlines this winter's Must Have!!!!! accessories. Gimme those boots, please!

Speaking of boots to die for, Sally over at Already Pretty gives us plenty of eyecandy in her Ode to Clarks Shoes. 

This week's Reader Refash over at Jilly's Refashionista blog comes from Trish, She turns two thrift store coats into a stylish trench for a fraction of the cost. With a bit of steampunk edge to it, this coat NEEDS to be seen by the public!

J's Everyday Fashion Blog calls out to those of us who can't walk two feet in heels by featuring wedges. I love wedges. And so does J's. 

Just for Smiles

Parents, this one is for you. Today.com reports on an exhausted new mom's take on "expert" sleep advice. Anyone who's ever had to share their life with a tiny human will be snorting with laughter.

Dogster.com's Lauren Zimmer reports on how her dog used his "cone of shame" as a tool during recovery after surgery. Hilarious!

Not a dog person? Catster's Lauren Bailey gives us a chuckle with her list "5 Ways My Cats Completely Own Me."

David Letterman Smooches Amy Poehler - and her reaction is awesome. Check out the video over at CNN.com.

Over on wimp.com, there's an adorable video of two elephants being reunited after 20 years.  Shades of "Christian the Lion" but without the carnivorous aspect.

Mental Floss features 13 words of the year from other countries. It almost makes me want to nagelprotest the US's declaration of "Selfie" as the word of 2013. 

Sunday Roundup: This Week In the Blog-o-Sphere

By Caitlin Seida 

Did you miss what was going on this week in the world of the blog? Here's a roundup of some of our favorite stories from the past week. Topics range from delicious things to eat, reasons you should pick out a new frock at a consignment shop and the awesomeness that is Alyssa Milano. Give these stories a glance and enjoy!

Health, Fitness and Food

The Texas A&M University Extension Office brings us a little motivation in keeping our New Year's Resolutions with Walk Across Texas - 7 Reasons to Love Exercise.

Maria and Josh over at Two Peas and Their Pod bring us 31 Healthy Recipes to Start 2014 Right. The cranberry orange roasted Brussels sprouts make me want to get creative in the kitchen.

If you're sick of being healthy, head over to Purl Bee and make use of their glittering torrone recipe.  I can just taste the sticky sweet honey now.

Jen at EPBOT gives us some much needed counsel in her post "5 Ways to Help Your Loved One Through a Panic Attack." 

Fashion, Beauty and Self Image

Zachary Valenti shows us that body image issues don't just affect women - he bravely shares his story of coming to terms with his body over at Salon.com in "Man Boobs and My Decade of Shame"

Sally at Already Pretty brings us a rundown of consignment shopping vs. thrift shopping. If you've ever wondered which is a better bet for which clothing items, this post is a must read.

Ms. Misantropia brings us some fun fashion trends for spring 2014. I'm enjoying the embroidery

The Lancashire Evening Post brings us a story of 12 real military wives of all shapes and sizes channeling their inner pinup vamps for a spicy calendar to benefit a chairty supporting current and former military personnel and their families.

The Cyberbullying Research Center lets us know what we, collectively, have learned about cyberbullying in 2013.

Feminism

Versha Sharma and Hanna Sender point out what we already know over at Vocativ - Hollywood Movies with Strong Female Leads Make More Money!

Rebecca Fernandez and The Women Take Over offer a look inside the brain of the media powerhouse Jezebel in an interview with founder Anna Holmes.

Liz over at Hello Ladies offers up a list of inspiring moments for women that happened in 2013.

Things That'll Make You Smile

Mashable brings us the story of a really neat dad who packs AWESOME notes with his kids' lunches. You can follow his adventures over at And I'm the Dad. 

Liz Acosta of Dogster brings us to tears with the story of Grammy Faith, a puppy mill dog who was kept in a rabbit cage for 12 years and is finally free.

And here's the story of a rockin' grandma who hand knits character from The Hobbit in intricate detail. If your New Year's Resolution was to be more crafty, here's your kick in the ass.

And if you need a smile, Alyssa Milano holds her own against radio host and "comedian" Jay Mohr after he calls her fat. Keep it classy, Alyssa and show 'em how it's done!
Update: Jay Mohr has apologized and with humor, grace and aplomb, Alyssa accepts. Read her response at the LA Times for a chuckle!

Do you have a neat link, blog post or interesting story to share? Let us know in the comments below or visit us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ifeeldelicious. Share the love, ladies!

Be Your Own Hero: How I Became an Athlete in My Twenties

By Hardkore Lena

How many times have you wanted to try a new hobby or activity, but were too paralyzed by fear of failure or embarrassing yourself to even give it a second thought? How many times have you then quashed that fear, thrown caution to the wind, and tried it anyway?

Photo Courtesy of Hardkore Lena's Facebook Page

For much of my life, my answers to those questions were "all the time" and "almost never". I watched my friends decide to take up swing dancing, debate, ice skating and go at it wholeheartedly--even if they were terrible at their chosen activity. I was both fascinated and horrified by it. How could they so nonchalantly embrace something new, and the very real chance that they might not succeed? To me, the possibility of finding a new passion never outweighed the terror I felt at the thought of failing.

Like many girls, I grew up with a seemingly firm "knowledge" of what I was good at--and what I wasn't. It wasn't that anyone told me I couldn't do the things I wanted to; it was that I knew from a young age that I am a perfectionist, and I have an inherent fear of failure, of disappointing others, of never being good enough. Figuring out what I was good at and sticking to those things seemed like the best way to never seem incompetent or risk humiliating myself. By the time I was a young adult, I knew that I was good at creativity-based things--writing, art, singing, crafts--as well as "being smart", giving advice, helping others. On the other hand, I also knew that I wasn't good at math, science, video games, or anything requiring athleticism, coordination, or any amount of grace. I felt secure in that knowledge, and didn't feel much shame in telling people the things I was bad at, because then I knew that they would have much lower expectations of me if they asked me to, say, mentally calculate sales tax or play a pickup game of sand volleyball.


Everything I thought I knew about being good at things and bad at things changed in March 2012. A close friend, who would soon come to be known as Pimp MaLady, had told me she wanted to get into skateboarding, which I thought was neat; then she changed her mind.

"I want to play roller derby," she said one afternoon. "I saw a poster in the bathroom at Tony's [Tavern] and I want to try it." I asked if she thought it was a good idea, considering the only knowledge either of us had about roller derby was from watching the movie Whip It. "Look," she said, "everyone else I've told has said that, or made bets on how long it'll be before I get seriously hurt. Can you just come check out a practice with me, and be supportive?"

Photo courtesy of the Appalachian Hell Betties Facebook Page

A few weeks later, Pimp & I headed to the skating rink on a Sunday evening to watch the Appalachian Hell Betties, the local roller derby team. I didn't mind going along for moral support, as I was curious what it would be like in real life. Pimp wasn't planning to actually skate that day, but when we arrived, several girls told her she was welcome to participate. That was all it took. She laced up a pair of rental skates, strapped on borrowed pads & a helmet, and did everything she physically could for the whole two hour practice. I was in awe of her moxie. She wasn't great, but she was determined, and more importantly, she was having fun. It got me thinking: Could I try this, too, even though I would probably be awful at it? I decided I could at least try skating again and see how it went.

Later that week, I went to an open skate session and met with Dame Reffin' Pain, the Hell Betties' head referee, who had offered to help me learn some of the rudimentary skills I'd need. I hadn't been on skates in the better part of ten years; she had to tow me to the wall, and there I stayed for most of the evening. The following Sunday, I drove to practice by myself, as Pimp had to work. This was something so far outside my comfort zone, and I could think of a million excuses I could make to not even try--I wasn't athletic enough, I didn't know anyone there, I was horribly uncoordinated, I couldn't even stay upright on skates for very long, et cetera. I did it anyway. I rented skates. Borrowed gear from the team supply. Felt like I was going to die from sheer terror every time one of the veteran skaters zoomed past me with barely any room to spare. Fell directly on my tailbone more times than I could count.

But I survived that first practice. And then I went to another one, and survived that. And then another. Two weeks after my first practice, I committed myself fully and ordered a pair of skates even though I was terrible at even the most basic skills. I then spent as much time wearing them as I could, at two or three practices a week, open skate sessions at the rink, at the outdoor hockey rink behind the community center, and on the bike path. I sweat more than I thought was possible and had sore muscles that I'd never known existed. My progress as a skater was slow; in fact, I'd never struggled so hard to understand and execute anything in my life. For the first time, I was actually sticking with something I wasn't immediately good at, and instead of feeling bad about my inabilities, I simply let them drive me to work even harder.


I began to realize that I had spent much of my life in fear--fear of failure, judgment, feeling stupid, looking stupid. I didn't fully understand yet why I was suddenly able to shrug off those fears that had owned me and dictated all of my actions for so long. It wasn't until I happened upon a Huffington Post article entitled "The Trouble with Bright Girls" that things started to make sense.


You can read the full article here, but the point that motivational psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson makes is that "More often than not, Bright Girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice." There it was, then: I had finally challenged that fact I thought I knew about myself, that I was not athletic and never would be. It was the single most liberating thought I'd ever experienced.

Realizing that my abilities were not static radically changed the way I saw myself. Rather than regarding myself as an awkward, gangly chick who lacked grace but was giving roller derby a valiant effort, I started to view myself as an athlete--something I had never done during years of soccer, basketball, volleyball, and cross country. Once that mindset took over, I found myself treating myself like one, too: eating better, staying hydrated, sleeping more. (Most of the time, at least...sometimes I still need to eat an inappropriate amount of chocolate or stay up too late. Hey, I'm only human!) My confidence in my abilities skyrocketed; I found new determination and drive. Along the way, I chose my derby name: HardKore Lena. It was both a play on my real name and a statement about who I was trying to become.

I had initially thought that I didn't much care whether I was ever rostered for a bout (game), because I was so focused on simply improving my skills, and more importantly, enjoying the hell out of what I was doing. But as I gained that confidence and improved more and more over the course of my first season with the team, I realized that I did care. I wanted more than anything to wear a Hell Betties jersey for more than just photos and public appearances, to take the track with my teammates and play competitively. By the start of the 2013 season, I felt ready, and more importantly, confident that I had earned a place on the roster.

Less than a week before we began our minimum skills testing in February--which I had to pass in order to become roster-eligible--I suffered my first major derby-related injury, badly spraining my right ankle during a drill at practice. I was devastated, terrified that I was about to lose everything for which I had worked so hard and be forced to watch my dream slip through my fingers. I experienced a lot of doubt during those first days spent on the couch with my foot elevated, encircled by multiple ice packs. Had I just been fooling myself into thinking I was really talented enough, strong enough, good enough to play roller derby? What if this injury rendered me physically incapable of continuing, or worse still, what if I was still physically able to play, but couldn't overcome the fear of injury?

After a short but seemingly interminable five and a half weeks, I found my doubts to be unwarranted. While I had indeed lost some strength and stamina, and found that I did have some limitations in what my ankle could handle, I completed my skills testing the same week. I asked to not play in our first bout in mid-April, just to give myself a little longer to heal, but I was rostered for the remainder of the season. In just under a year, I went from barely able to stand on skates to finally feeling like a "real" derby girl, like I'd really embraced my name and become HardKore.

As I prepare for the start of my third season with the Hell Betties, I am still amazed at the ways in which my life has changed because of roller derby. I am stronger physically, mentally, and emotionally. I take bruises and the occasional busted lip in stride. While I accept that I will most likely never play at a highly competitive level, I am confident in most of my skills, and know that hard work & dedication will improve the skills that are lacking. It's not all fishnets & glitter, sunshine & rainbows, though. Being involved in derby is much like being in a relationship. It takes up most of the time I used to spend on other hobbies. Non-derby friends have accepted that they don't get to see me as much; a few have quietly drifted out of my life. I demand more of myself than ever before!

Playing roller derby is great. Having a sense of community is wonderful. Finally feeling like an athlete is amazing. But coming to that realization that I truly can do anything I put my mind to? That's the best part of it all.

HardKore Lena plays roller derby for the Appalachian Hell Betties of Athens Ohio Roller Derby, and is a crafty nerd girl in what little spare time she has. You can follow her adventures on Facebook , Twitter, and the team's website. And of course you can find her here on I Feel Delicious!

Eight Tips for Sneaking In Exercise When You Really Don’t Have the Time

By Caitlin Seida

I've heard tales of rare and mythical creatures who love to exercise and have seemingly unlimited time to get it done during the day. I don't think I've ever met one, but I'm sure they do exist. I, personally, am not one of them.

So what's a girl to do when she's busy but needs to stay in shape? Sneaks in exercise in bursts. Five minutes here, ten minutes there, a couple minutes before bed - it all adds up and you can build up to the recommended 30 to 60 minutes a day of exercise you should be getting, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Photo Copyright Jessica Lucia, Used Under Creative Commons License

So how do you do it? Here's some ideas:

1. Do Squats While Brushing Your Teeth
Proper tooth brushing techniques take about two minutes and you should be doing it at least twice a day. That's four minutes of time where you're staring into your bathroom mirror and making goofy faces at yourself. Use those two minute chunks of time to get in as many squat repetitions as is safely possible. Squats are resistance exercises that use your own body weight to work your quadricep and hamstring muscles. Strengthening them can help protect your knees - a great benefit!
Here's a video demonstrating proper squat techniques:



2. Work Your Arms While Doing Laundry Laundry - we've all got to do it and I don't think anyone likes it. You have to lift the laundry into the basket, lift the basket and carry it to your laundry area, lift the clothes into the machine, wait for a while and then transfer them from the machine to the dryer. That in and of itself is a lot of work, right? Use the weight from the laundry (wet laundry is heavier than dry) to do some quick reps to trick yourself into giving your arm muscles a workout.

Exercise your arms and shoulders by using the laundry basket in place of a barbell - a seated shoulder press, as demonstrated here, allows you to sit while you contemplate which detergent to use. You can also use the laundry basket to do a standing barbell curl, as demonstrated here. 

3. Practice Your Ballet Barre Technique While Doing The Dishes 
I'm a big fan of ballet exercises - they help build long, lean muscles, improve flexibility and core stability and they improve your balance big time. Doing the dishes can take a long time - sneak in some releves, rond de jambes, tendus and plies while you're scrubbing.





4. Create a Cardio Housework Blast
Vacuum, mop the floor, scrub the bathtub, clean the toilet - but do it all at a pace that gets your heart pumping. Dance while you do it - nobody's watching. Get your heart rate elevated and keep it that way by working at a break neck speed - as a bonus, your housework will get done quicker, too.

Copyright Jason Jones, Used Under Creative Commons License

Copyright Gabrielle Marks, Used Under Creative Commons License

5. Make Multiple Trips
Gotta go upstairs to get your laptop, phone and MP3 player? Make a separate trip for each item. Even if you live in a one story house, walk each item to its intended room individually. Sure, it takes a little extra time but every extra step you take counts towards your goal. Baby steps will get you there just as surely as leaps and bounds.

Copyright THOR. Used Under Creative Commons License

6. Park farther away from the door
Everybody wants that prime parking spot right in front of work or the store - pass it up and let someone else have an easy day. Instead, opt to park farther away and walk to your destination. Again - it all adds up to your goal.

Copyright Vick the Viking. Used Under a Creative Commons License.

7. Take the Stairs
Yeah, everybody knows this piece of advice and nobody likes to hear it, but it bears repeating. Ignore the elevator, ignore the escalator, leave your space age jetpack at home. Take the stairs. It'll get your heart pumping and count toward your daily fitness goal. The more you take the stairs, the easier it gets - eventually you'll stop huffing and puffing when you reach the top. I promise!



8. Play.
Remember when you were a kid and your mom sent you out of the house for the afternoon? Everything was a playground - the entire world was new and exciting and there were opportunities to play wherever you looked. Let your inner child out for a bit and just go play. Climb trees, rake leaves and jump in the pile, dig holes in the dirt, roll down hills - a little bit of play is good for your body AND your mind

Copyright Walt Stoneburner. Used Under Creative Commons License

How do you sneak exercise into your daily routine? Leave us a comment and let us know. 

Caitlin Seida has been writing since 2006, with her work appearing on various websites including Livestrong.com, TypeF.com, Salon.com, Dogster.com and The Daily Puppy. A Jill-of-All-Trades, she splits her workday as a writer, humane society advocate and on-call vet tech. What little free time she has goes into pinup modeling, advocating for self-acceptance, knitting and trying to maintain her haunted house (really!). You can find her on Facebook, on Twitter, and of course here on I Feel Delicious!