Weekly Link Roundup - January 12, 2014

By Caitlin Seida

This week we take on nudity - and why it's okay if an actress is okay with it - violence against women in Africa and the middle east, why Katie Couric really should do more research, women in the tech industry, comic book characters and their race and gender identity and more. Paula Deen can rejoice - butter is in, and it's okay! Also, a tear-jerking video of two elephants reunited after 20 years and a rage-inducing rant from the star of "Call the Midwife." This week has been a busy one in the blog-o-sphere, and we're here to catch you up. 

Entertainment and Tech

Lena Dunham and Judd Apatow talk about why Dunham's character on the TV Show Girls is always naked - responding to a rather poorly worded question from a reporter. Refinery29 has the scoop. 

Love it or hate it, Amanda Hess's piece "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet" has been setting the 'net ablaze this week. Agree or disagree with her stance, she provides a totally new look at online harassment. 

Is anyone really surprised that women have more social media presence than men? This report over at The National Association of Realtors confirms what anyone who has ever used Pinterest already knows: Social media is dominated by women. 

Poornima Vijayashanker over at CNN Money explains why the lack of women tech founders is about more than just a lack of knowledge. Read her piece "Stop Telling Women They Just Know How to Code." 

Afghani women are turning to the Internet to hide from threats and violence. Read Gopal Bantam's hard-hitting piece over at Bloomberg Politics.  The 'net is a global community, and we need to recognize that. 

Laverne Cox, the media's favorite transwoman as of late, tells Katie Couric to shove it - with dignity and grace - with regards to invasive and insensitive questions about trans people. Read the whole scoop on Salon.com. I think I'm in love. Laverne, will you be my BFF? 

Health, Sports and Wellness

Caitlin Constantine tackles the women and pull ups issue that the US Military brought up this week. It's about more than just biology. Read her take over at the Huffington Post. She brings up some pretty valid points. 

SB Nation reports on an annual Alaskan tradition. Every year the Talkeenta Bachelor Society auctions off - well, themselves - to raise money for women and children in crisis. Read the coverage of the "Wilderness Woman Competition" here for an odd look at the (only slightly ironic and kind of fun) competition. 

UFC's Matt Brown has proven himself kind of a dick by insisting that women MMA fighters should keep on fighting - only if they're topless. Read all about this guy putting his foot in his mouth over at MMA Mania.  Anyone want my ten foot pole? Because I'm not touching this one. 

We all know there's an income gap between men and women but the gap is closed in at least one area. The world's top ranked tennis players pull in the same income as men. Read more over at The Herald Sun. 

Butter consumption is at a 40 year high, and that might not be a bad thing, health-wise. This piece over at Women's Health explains why.  I can't believe it's not....oh you know. 

Imani Grandi at RH Reality Check isn't just mad - she's pissed and she explains why in her article "Feticide Laws Advance 'Personhood', Punish Pregnant Women."  Totally worth a read for anyone concerned about women's reproductive rights.

Women's perspectives of healthy genetalia and what's "normal" (not that there's any such thing) "may be" influenced by exposure to modified images. Read more in a report over at Science Daily.  And if you need a reality check, go look at the variation of women's genetalia over at the Large Labia Project (obviously Not Safe for Work.)

Culture And Media

Willa Paskin takes on the "likeable woman" archetype in Slate's piece "What's so Bad About Likable Women?"  Read for the importance of unlikable women characters. 

Smithsonian Mag released a piece on the women who mapped the universe - and got absolutely NO credit for it. Read here.  Astronomy never felt so powerful.

Over at Reason.com, Shihka Dalmia reports on the rise in female gun ownership in India. 

Call the Press! Call the Midwife Star Judy Parfitt paints herself as kind of a twat, calling women who opt for plastic surgery "pathetic."  I'm not sure I'll be watching anymore - what I do with my body (natural, artificial, cosmetic or medically necessary) is my own damn business and I don't take kindly to anyone judging me for it.

The Foreign Policy Blog offers up an interesting chart, comparing what researchers found was "appropriate apparel" for women Muslims. The verdict? Cover your hair, not your face.  The chart - and article - are worth viewing. It's interesting to see this cultural preference and how it varies from place to place, and also how it falls in line with conservative Christian and Jewish mandates for women to cover their hair. 

Listen to "Never Again" with Betty Makoni - this week she takes on the African Genocide of women on Nehanda Radio. $10 can buy a bus ticket out to  save the life of someone looking to escape the violence. So why are we wasting funds on campaigns that just aren't working? 

Fatherless children? It's all women's faults, according to Wall Street Journal writer James Taranto. Read his ridiculous piece here, along with the snarky commentary that makes me fall in love with op-ed writer Amanda Marcotte.  Forget working outside the home and the Pill - we're here to birth babies and stay shackled to the stove! Maybe then our boys would grow into strong, worthwhile men. Ahem.

Buzzfeed can be snarky, critical and downright trashy, but writer Tabir Ahkter hits the nail on the head in "13 Reasons Why Not Fitting In As a Kid Makes You An Awesome Adult." Where my weirdos at?

NPR's thought provoking piece on artist Orion Martin asks the question "Who Gets to Be a Superhero?" Examining race and gender identity in comics, this piece is a must click for all comic book fans.

Fashion and Image

Stylelist outlines this winter's Must Have!!!!! accessories. Gimme those boots, please!

Speaking of boots to die for, Sally over at Already Pretty gives us plenty of eyecandy in her Ode to Clarks Shoes. 

This week's Reader Refash over at Jilly's Refashionista blog comes from Trish, She turns two thrift store coats into a stylish trench for a fraction of the cost. With a bit of steampunk edge to it, this coat NEEDS to be seen by the public!

J's Everyday Fashion Blog calls out to those of us who can't walk two feet in heels by featuring wedges. I love wedges. And so does J's. 

Just for Smiles

Parents, this one is for you. Today.com reports on an exhausted new mom's take on "expert" sleep advice. Anyone who's ever had to share their life with a tiny human will be snorting with laughter.

Dogster.com's Lauren Zimmer reports on how her dog used his "cone of shame" as a tool during recovery after surgery. Hilarious!

Not a dog person? Catster's Lauren Bailey gives us a chuckle with her list "5 Ways My Cats Completely Own Me."

David Letterman Smooches Amy Poehler - and her reaction is awesome. Check out the video over at CNN.com.

Over on wimp.com, there's an adorable video of two elephants being reunited after 20 years.  Shades of "Christian the Lion" but without the carnivorous aspect.

Mental Floss features 13 words of the year from other countries. It almost makes me want to nagelprotest the US's declaration of "Selfie" as the word of 2013. 

Dear Whitney: You're not his first victim...Speak up.

Dear Whitney At Age 16,
Don't take it personally - I know you think you're hot stuff right now. And you're right. This is the last big summer you have before you leave high school. But I am telling you right now, you're worth more than you give yourself credit for.

This guy? He's bad news. He's not a bad guy, but he's got his own issues. It's not a bad thing to explore your sexuality, but this guy right here? 40+, balding, still living with his parents even though he's a CEO of a rather well known company? Honey, where are your red flags and why are you IGNORING them?

I could tell you not to talk to him, I could tell you not to go out with him. I could tell you not to fool around with him. I could even tell you not to get in the car. But you won't listen - you're stubborn. And I know that all too well.

One of these nights he's going to do all the right things - take you out for a night on the town, get you all the alcohol you want, and then when you're just slowed down enough, he's going to ask for something you don't wanna give up. I'm not telling you who to sleep with or not sleep with, but when he starts begging you to forego condoms? Get out of the car and run. Because he's bad news from head to toe.

And then, instead of worrying about getting in trouble for what happened? For being somewhere you weren't supposed to be, for doing things you weren't supposed to be doing? Tell someone. Speak up. Because you're probably not the first girl he did this to, and you're almost definitely not the last. Get over the intimidation, get over the shame and say something to someone. Anyone.

Otherwise, it'll eat you alive for years, wondering which young thing he's got his paws on tonight and if you could have done anything to stop it. You'll never know if people would have listened or believed you - and you'll keep wondering that forever - because you didn't even try.

You'll have your share of experiences over the years - some you regret, some you wish you'd done differently. You'll explore your sexuality and some things you'll still be proud of later - some, not so much. But this is one instance where you need to understand: What he'll do is not your fault. You'll say no. He won't listen. What is your responsibility is to speak up. Maybe then you'll avoid the whole mess of mistrusting guys and that little drinking problem you have in college.

Like I said, I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, Whit. I'm just trying to give you some advice from someone who has been there and done that and just now, almost 10 years later, is finally speaking up. To you.

I love you sweetie. Stay strong.
Whit - age 25

The Faces and Words of Domestic Violence

By Barbara Alvarez

You’re all about respect – self-respect, showing respect to others and expecting others show respect toward you. When it doesn't happen, you may feel disillusioned and wary about the person who disrespected you.


When it comes to someone treating you badly, however, do you know how to recognize it? When s/he tells you “You’re worthless. You’re a slut. You cheated on me,” do you recognize that as emotional and verbal abuse? Did you know that emotional/verbal abuse falls under the umbrella of domestic violence? Domestic violence isn't delivered at the end of a closed fist or a knife wielded in your partner’s hand.

Photo by Phoney Nickle. Used under Creative Commons License

Verbal and emotional abuse tear you down just as badly as that black eye, the bruises and the long cut on your arm will do. The difference is that, with one form of violence, nobody else sees the marks and scars. But you know they are there.

Eventually, you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to believe that you’re stupid, worthless and a slut. You may be nervous around your partner, trying to keep him or her from lashing out with hateful, confidence-destroying words.

Then there’s the physical violence. Did you know that it takes, on average, seven incidents of domestic violence before a victim leaves her abuser? And, when you don’t know how you’re going to survive financially, you may not believe you have any other choice but to go back. There’s another consideration: Victims undergo progressively worse attacks as time goes on – and one of these attacks could end in her death, or that of one of her children.

Sexual abuse – rape – also falls under the domestic violence umbrella. You may believe that, when s/he demands sex, you have no choice but to comply, even if you don’t feel like it. That is wrong. If you don’t feel like it, then being expected to “perform” is rape. It’s a crime, no matter whether you have bruises and cuts or not.

Photo by flickr.com/jesjon87. Used under a Creative Commons License

You deserve better. If you know someone experiencing one of these forms of relationship violence, she deserves better. You do have resources available in your community. Call the police or sheriff’s department when you are being assaulted. Find someone you know you can trust and tell them what’s happening to you. Eventually, you’ll need to escape. Find a close friend who will allow you to stay with her for a few days while you think about your future. Most communities have a domestic violence shelter. Law enforcement can give you the number and, if needed, take you there. Because of the high risk of danger to the residents, the location of this shelter is kept secret.


Call the National Domestic Violence hotline. That number is 1-800-799-7233. The TTY number is 1-800-787-3224. You’ll be able to get guidance to needed resources as well as learn just what domestic violence is, how it looks and how it affects you. You’ll also learn about the cycle of violence.

Remember, you are worthy of respect and love. If you are in the middle of an intimate relationship that has become violent, you deserve better. To take a quote from Kathryn Stockett’s “The Help,” You is smart, you is kind, you is important.

Barbara Alvarez earned her journalism and mass communications degree in December, 2006 and has been writing professionally since that time.

Alvarez has written and self-published two books, one non-fiction and one fiction. The non-fiction is intended for a military spouse niche. This book is written under a pen name: Diana M. Lopez.

The fiction is intended for anyone who loves to read about strong men and stronger women who
confront conflict even as they learn to adjust their beliefs about relationships and love.

Alvarez plans to write until she is very old – it is in her blood, along with crochet and cross stitch. She
is the mother of two grown sons.

You can keep up with Barbara at her website, or follow her on Facebook.  Of course you can also keep an eye out here for more of her work on I Feel Delicious!