Inspiring Women of History: Wild Rose O’Neal Greenhow, Confederate Spy

By Kristi Waterworth

The American Civil War was the bloodiest conflict that The United States of America has ever known; no one was left untouched as the battles, both moral and military, raged throughout the land. The Civil War was the first total war Americans experienced -- every man, woman and child was forced to take a side. Although today it’s hard to fully understand why anyone would defend the South, at the time the people of the South believed their way of life was being threatened and would be irrevocably changed. Fear of industrial collapse and abject poverty pushed average people to take extraordinary risks in order to defend their families and property.

One such woman was Rose O’Neal Greenhow, a widow and mother of four by the beginning of

the Civil War. She had been the wife of a Washington bureaucrat, and traveled in Washington social circles, but at heart she was still the girl that grew up on a small plantation in hotly divided Maryland. When the war broke out, Rose saw her opportunity to help her countrymen and family by sneaking intelligence across the Union lines to General Beauregard, based in Virginia.

Rose wasn’t a trained spy, but she had enough connections in Washington that information about troop movements and vital shipments fell into her lap easily. Captain Thomas Jordan, a Southern sympathizer, taught her the basics of cryptography before leaving the U.S. Army for the Confederacy. Armed with this knowledge, Rose re-entered the Washington social scene, often entertaining valuable Union officers in her home and probing them for information.
The First Battle of Bull Run might have been the end of the Confederacy, had Rose not intervened. The Confederate army was still very green and not ready for a full battle, but they had little choice as the Union army drew near. Information gathered by Rose allowed General Beauregard to call for reinforcements in time to turn the tide of that battle and set the tone of the war.

The Union had expected to easily defeat the Confederates, but the First Battle of Bull Run would prove to be the biggest, bloodiest skirmish to that point in American history. For the South, it was a huge victory that finally lent credence to their cause. No longer would the Union consider the rebels to be merely inconvenient and annoying, the armies of the South were now a major threat to the future of the United States.

A month after Bull Run, in August 1861, Rose would be arrested for her part in the Confederate victory. After several months in a filthy Union prison, Rose was brought in front of a panel who would decide what to do with her. Technically, she was guilty of treason, a hanging offense, but President Lincoln was afraid if he hung this woman, she would become a martyr for the Southern cause. Instead, he allowed her to choose to remain in the Union after swearing an oath of allegiance or be sent to the South. In May 1862, she was finally sent to Richmond, Virginia.

Once there, Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederacy, welcomed Rose like a native daughter and appointed her as an emissary to Europe. In 1863, Rose left for London, where she published memoirs of her Union imprisonment, entitled My Imprisonment and the First Year of Abolition Rule. The book was a huge success in Europe, opening social and political doors for her in both England and France. Although these European socialites were sympathetic to the Southern cause, they refused to get involved in what they believed to be a wholly internal affair of the United States.

In 1864, Rose headed back to Richmond on the blockade runner CSS Condor. The ship ran aground in stormy weather, prompting Rose to man a lifeboat and flee. Sadly, her little boat capsized in the storm and she drowned. When her body was recovered, it became evident why – she had sewn the gold she had managed to raise for the Confederacy in Europe into her clothing. The sheer weight of the $2,000 in coins she so carefully protected had dragged her below the choppy water to her death.

Rose was buried with full Confederate military honors in October 1864 at Oakdale Cemetery near Wilmington, North Carolina. Every year, she’s honored with a ceremony that remembers her relentless dedication to the Southern cause.

Kristi Waterworth is a freelance journalist based in Springfield, Missouri with a wide range of interests; her work frequently appears on the web and in print. Waterworth developed a long love affair with the Westerning Experience while studying American history in college. Despite the lies, intrigue and mythology intertwined with fact, the American West was a place and time like no other – the extreme adventure required an extreme response. She now seamlessly integrates her journalism skill with her history background at an irregularly updated site called Fifteen Minutes. You can also catch up with her on Facebook and, of course, here on I Feel Delicious.

Inside The Horrifying World Of Online Fat-Shaming

A snip of the magazine article

 Another amazing story about Caitlin ! She is an inspiration to us all. 

Here is the latest - at Business insider. Click the link below. 

virtual-fat-shaming



In a time when our world seems obsessed with the look of starvation, yet markets food 24/7 - and doesn't always make high fashion readily available to the mainstream, even though most Americans are size 14+... Caitlin's message fits our time perfectly.

I hope you'll give the link a click and then let us know what you think!

Cheers,

Terri Jean

I’m Not Perfect (and That’s Okay)

By Tali’Belle Cosplay

I preach body positivity, but I’m not thin enough to ever hope for Jaina Proudmoore’s silhouette. I preach cosplaying for fun, but my silhouette in my envirosuit is the only silhouette I smile at. I preach being nice to others and not criticizing, insulting, or harassing…but I’m my own worst bully. Nothing that small handful of petty girls harassing me for cosplaying a pairing they don’t like could say could hurt me as badly as what I think of myself.

Tali'Belle herself, from DeviantArt

Cosplay makes me happy, I feel good about myself when people compliment my pics or say kind things to me in public at conventions. My spirit soars and I smile bright and wide, I laugh, I joke, I have a wonderful time. But….


That’s what I was going to write. It was hopeless, it was depressing, it was not a very positive message. But here’s the thing, no one is perfect. No one at all. Yaya Han says things that are misinterpreted and needs to redo small mistakes when she makes things too, Jennifer Lawrence gets called fat, my friends from Tumblr to Deviantart to Facebook show that almost every cosplayer has some painful insecurity that hurts them.

 Even the characters I idolize and dress as have imperfections. Tali is insecure in her leadership abilities, can be opinionated, and gets flustered and nervous at times, but she still wields her shot gun and tech powers expertly, she’s still regarded as one of the sweetest, most genuinely good, loyal, and well-loved characters you can recruit, and is a favorite romance option. Jaina Proudmoore was too trusting, was never on time for anything, and was wrought with regret over many, many things and now she’s let the betrayals she suffered make her bitter and angry, but Jaina is also one of the strongest, most capable mages of all time, not just of her gender but her entire class and has led both cities and armies. Sweetie Belle is naïve, a little less than the brightest bulb in the box, and can be very annoying but her friends and family love her and she’s a true and loyal friend.

Tali'Belle as Jaina Proudmoore, from DeviantArt

Imperfections make us real, imperfections make us alive, imperfections make us interesting. Would Tali be considered half as cute and sweet if she didn’t stumble over her words with Shepard? Would she be regarded as a well-rounded character if she wasn’t wrong sometimes and didn’t grow from learning she was? Would, say, Lara Croft, be such a great character and role model for female gamers if she hadn’t started out as a terrified girl who could barely fire a gun fighting for her life and sometimes making the wrong choices for the right reasons?

People don’t like Lara, like Tali, like Jaina because they’ve got perfect, beautiful, flawless bodies. The fact is in real life they wouldn’t, those are pixels and besides, Tali’s wide hips are some people’s favorite part of her, Jaina’s somewhat less glamorous face was highly preferred to her heavily made up newer model (not that wearing makeup is bad, it can be fun and is a major healthy self-esteem boost to get prettied up), Lara’s fan base, even those who sexualize her, for the most part are drawn to her strength. We as cosplayers, as geeks, as people forget that these characters, like us, have faults and imperfections that don’t make people like them any less.

I think ultimately, this backs up the entire message of my posts in general. Don’t be perfect, be a human being, accept and treat others as human beings, be kind, be courteous, be good. If you are kind to others in your community, you will find friends. You may not talk all the time or even know each other too well off the internet and outside the con, but you will know them and you know their insecurities, their fears, their hopes, the things they like and you will see they are just like you…You will not feel alone. We are all imperfect and that’s okay. If you live with your imperfections, you are not a bad person. If you fix them with medicine or surgery or makeup, you are not a bad person. If you want to but can’t afford it, you are not a bad person.


No one has the right to tell you how to think or feel. Don’t let what cruel people with nothing better to do than hurt others affect you. Anyone who goes out of their way to hide behind a private anonymous message or a screen name and say hateful things about you and has nothing better to do isn’t worth your time. Improve imperfections that hurt others in the healthiest way you can and do what you will with the ones that don’t affect anyone.

 Tali'Belle is a fashion and costume design student with twelve years of cosplay experience. She operates Fleet and Flotilla: Dextro Couture and Salvage on Etsy. Her main cosplay is Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy and her current preferred convention is Dragon Con. You can keep up with her on DeviantArt  or Twitter. And of course, you can find her posts here on I Feel Delicious!

The Faces and Words of Domestic Violence

By Barbara Alvarez

You’re all about respect – self-respect, showing respect to others and expecting others show respect toward you. When it doesn't happen, you may feel disillusioned and wary about the person who disrespected you.


When it comes to someone treating you badly, however, do you know how to recognize it? When s/he tells you “You’re worthless. You’re a slut. You cheated on me,” do you recognize that as emotional and verbal abuse? Did you know that emotional/verbal abuse falls under the umbrella of domestic violence? Domestic violence isn't delivered at the end of a closed fist or a knife wielded in your partner’s hand.

Photo by Phoney Nickle. Used under Creative Commons License

Verbal and emotional abuse tear you down just as badly as that black eye, the bruises and the long cut on your arm will do. The difference is that, with one form of violence, nobody else sees the marks and scars. But you know they are there.

Eventually, you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to believe that you’re stupid, worthless and a slut. You may be nervous around your partner, trying to keep him or her from lashing out with hateful, confidence-destroying words.

Then there’s the physical violence. Did you know that it takes, on average, seven incidents of domestic violence before a victim leaves her abuser? And, when you don’t know how you’re going to survive financially, you may not believe you have any other choice but to go back. There’s another consideration: Victims undergo progressively worse attacks as time goes on – and one of these attacks could end in her death, or that of one of her children.

Sexual abuse – rape – also falls under the domestic violence umbrella. You may believe that, when s/he demands sex, you have no choice but to comply, even if you don’t feel like it. That is wrong. If you don’t feel like it, then being expected to “perform” is rape. It’s a crime, no matter whether you have bruises and cuts or not.

Photo by flickr.com/jesjon87. Used under a Creative Commons License

You deserve better. If you know someone experiencing one of these forms of relationship violence, she deserves better. You do have resources available in your community. Call the police or sheriff’s department when you are being assaulted. Find someone you know you can trust and tell them what’s happening to you. Eventually, you’ll need to escape. Find a close friend who will allow you to stay with her for a few days while you think about your future. Most communities have a domestic violence shelter. Law enforcement can give you the number and, if needed, take you there. Because of the high risk of danger to the residents, the location of this shelter is kept secret.


Call the National Domestic Violence hotline. That number is 1-800-799-7233. The TTY number is 1-800-787-3224. You’ll be able to get guidance to needed resources as well as learn just what domestic violence is, how it looks and how it affects you. You’ll also learn about the cycle of violence.

Remember, you are worthy of respect and love. If you are in the middle of an intimate relationship that has become violent, you deserve better. To take a quote from Kathryn Stockett’s “The Help,” You is smart, you is kind, you is important.

Barbara Alvarez earned her journalism and mass communications degree in December, 2006 and has been writing professionally since that time.

Alvarez has written and self-published two books, one non-fiction and one fiction. The non-fiction is intended for a military spouse niche. This book is written under a pen name: Diana M. Lopez.

The fiction is intended for anyone who loves to read about strong men and stronger women who
confront conflict even as they learn to adjust their beliefs about relationships and love.

Alvarez plans to write until she is very old – it is in her blood, along with crochet and cross stitch. She
is the mother of two grown sons.

You can keep up with Barbara at her website, or follow her on Facebook.  Of course you can also keep an eye out here for more of her work on I Feel Delicious!

Apparently I'm a Role Model - And I Don't Know Why!

When I wrote about my unflattering viral picture, I never expected an outpouring of support. I didn't expect people to write to me to tell me bits of their own story, and I certainly never expected to be branded a role model - but I was.

 I was told over and over again that I was inspiring and that people looked up to me for the way I accept my body and fought back against my cyberbullies.

To me, a role-model is someone who does BIG THINGS and changes the world. So maybe I'm not there yet, but I'm honored people think of me as such. I've stepped up my game to become the role model they think I am.

So I did the natural thing and wrote an article about it....You can read the entire thing here, at Salon.com.



We want to hear from you - who is your role model? What do you think makes a person a role model?

Caitlin Seida has been writing since 2006, with her work appearing on various websites including Livestrong.com, TypeF.com, Salon.com, Dogster.com and The Daily Puppy. A Jill-of-All-Trades, she splits her workday as a writer, humane society advocate and on-call vet tech. What little free time she has goes into pinup modeling, advocating for self-acceptance, knitting and trying to maintain her haunted house (really!). You can find her on Facebook, on Twitter, and of course here on I Feel Delicious!

Happy Sunday!

Hello Ladies!

We are currently developing a new website for I Feel Delicious and we would like to know what YOU think!

What do you look for in an online magazine or community organization? What would you like to see?

We are open to hearing your suggestions. Please send them our email on the contact page - or let us know via facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/ifeeldelicious

Thank you and we can't wait to hear what you have to say

Cheers,

Terri Jean

All right folks... I gotta'be honest:

I really don't see anything truly offensive about this photo.


But, within my little circle of gal pals, my opinion is of the minority. Apparently, Maria Kang has upset a lot of women who respond to her What's your excuse? question with a great big "Fuck you!" and "You don't know me!" 


And I get that... really, I do. Well, I kinda get it.
Kinda.


I guess I'm not taking her message personally. I don't think she's actually talking to me, rather she's making a point. And perhaps because I DO make a LOT of excuses as to why I am not rocking a 6-pack, or even a flat 1-pack for that matter, I don't feel offended by her attitude. I actually like being called out on my failure to make my health a priority. Truth be told, if I were to have a fitness coach, SHE is the person I would call because she'd be in my face, not putting up with my bullshit lies.. and making me do the very things I'm supposed to be doing (namely: putting down the PB&J and jump rope.)

I find her photo inspirational and motivational, though not quite as much as the folks in this here photo, ---->
cause seriously, THEY absolutely rock (especially the 82 year old. Whew! Way to make me want to hit the weights and show her up!). But still, I'd rather pat Maria on the back, over punching her in the face. But perhaps it's because I can put a few other things into perspective, for example:

1. This is Maria's job. She's a model and she's into health and fitness. Looking good is part of her brand, and her product - which is her. So of course she's going to put a lot of time and energy into it. I'm sure if my body (my entire body, not just the parts that write and photograph pretty things) were paying my bills, I'd work out all the time too!

2. I really think she meant to motivate - not frustrate - women.

3. I'm not personally invested because (for now) I'm not engaged in a battle with my body to lose all my excess weight. 9 years ago I was pretty sick. I had an illness that wrecked my body, and I was putting on weight just by smelling food. I worked out for several hours a day, followed the Atkins Induction diet to the letter for a good 6 months, and I was honestly doing everything I could to get the weight off. I was at war with myself - and my win was short lived. Perhaps if I was still in that fight, I'd be pissed off too.

4.I do not believe she's a fat shamer. I've seen them on-line and in person. They don't try to motivate, rather they just hate. By lumping her in with those who point, post cruel photos, laugh and bully people into meeting THEIR expectations, we're diluting the actual problem.


5. Even bad publicity is good publicity, so the more you mention her name or throw a hissy fit, the more she'll gain in popularity .... and since THIS is her job (see #1) all those who are mad at her are actually just rewarding her.



And just like Maria hasn't walked in my shoes, nor your shoes, we haven't walked in hers. We don't know her struggles, health problems, and lifestyle. We're judging her on one simple photo... yet we're demanding not to be judged back.


Crazy, huh?




Thanks for listening...


Terri Jean